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What to say to a depressed loved one. 

1 Oct

Walking by Faith , Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

Depression, anxiety and worry are the enemies trying to kill our peace and they are on the rise among men, women, and teens. Why? Few know the answer. But here, Dr. Michelle Bengtson has important guidelines so you can help someone begin the victory path.

09-23-16 Bengston

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” Proverbs 18:21

What we say to others can either build them up or tear them down. We must take care not to further injure someone in their suffering from something we say.

As a neuropsychologist, I’m witness to the well-intentioned but misdirected words of friends and family to depressed loved ones that only serve to pull them down further.

When people suffer from depression, they often also harbor low self-esteem, guilt, and shame. What they crave is to know they are loved, accepted, and not alone.

Let Scripture help you determine what to say to a depressed loved one: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Here are a few things to say to someone struggling with depression:

  • I love you. There is no better time to hear this than when they are struggling to love themselves and wonder if others truly love them too.
  • I’m here for you. This is one of the most comforting things you can say to someone feeling alone.
  • You are important to me. It’s vital to know they are still acceptable, accepted, and important.
  • I’m sorry that you are going through such a painful time. Expressing your sorrow for their pain communicates that you care, even if you don’t fully understand.
  • Is there something I can do for you? This communicates your willingness to help and just your offer will lend comfort and encouragement.
  • You may not believe this now, but you won’t always feel this way. The depressed individual often needs reminding that there is hope.
  • We will get through this together. This communicates your acceptance, and your love.
  • Nothing. Actions often do speaker louder than words. I remember when Job encountered great hardship. Job 2:13 says his friends came and sat with him for seven days and nights. During that time, they didn’t speak a word because they saw how great his pain was. Words could do nothing to help his misery, but their company spoke volumes.

Remember, when you are speaking to a depressed loved one, your goal is to encourage and uplift them. “But if it were me, I would encourage you. I would try to take away your grief” (Job 16:5 NLT).

How will you encourage a loved one today?

 

Source: What to say to a depressed loved one. | Janet Perez Eckles

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It Takes Time

30 Sep

From the Heart

Louise Gibson

 

 

 

Thank you, Lord, for your promises.
Thank you for your loving care.
You satisfy our every need.
Your presence is everywhere.

 

Patience is a trait that takes time to acquire.
It isn’t zapped into our being.
God uses situations as learning tools.
such as waiting for things we are not seeing.

 

It takes time to form relationships-
a bonding of two souls.
Patience is essential
in working toward our goals.

 

There is no substitute for friendship.
It begins with our Lord, above.
What a friend we have in Jesus.
The Cross is the symbol of love.

 

I want to follow in His footsteps
in helping my fellow man.
Even in my old age,
I know my Savior has a plan.

 

Keep looking up, dear friend.
That’s where our future lies.
Our physical body is subject to death-
but our soul never dies!

 

sunset-with-upraised-arms

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Trapped in Florida

29 Sep

On the Porch

Onisha  Ellis

Our time in Florida has certainly not been boring. Unfortunately the action has been of the golden years type. ( You know, when all of your gold goes to pay doctors, tests and medicine) We expected to spend two weeks in Florida  checking in with our doctors and then flee the Florida heat. My husband’s first visit seemed innocuous, a routine eye exam. Then the doctor “saw” something which led to two tests being scheduled. Next came a trip to the orthopedic doctor for him to get a simple steroid shot. Yep, not simple. He needed an MRI. We followed this up with a visit to the primary care doctor for him to go over the results of the first two test results. Guess what? Another  test is needed AND a specialist is the only one who can  order it which  requires setting up a new patient appointment. Have you ever tried to get a new patient appointment with a specialist? They are booked for weeks and some, months in  advance. Our two-week visit is turning into three weeks and we are putting our foot down. Either the doctor schedules the next test ASAP or we are going back to North Carolina and enjoy fall.

i scrolled though some of my fall photos and here are a few.

Not a Fall photo but I love it.

In addition to all these doctor visits, the hot temperatures have triggered some ferocious lightning storms and it appears like another may be exploding soon.

storm-clouds-palm-trees-copy

On the positive side, it has been fun catching up with old friends, sneaking a pumpkin donut at Dunkin Donuts with my daughter and not to be overlooked, a much appreciated hair cut with my favorite hair stylist. I would tell you her name, but she is hard enough to get an appointment with as it is

I just thought of another plus for being in Florida in the fall. High-Speed-Internet. I am sure I have moaned about our internet speed in the mountains before. I am truly grateful to have internet up there but having fast internet is bliss when I am attempting to create graphics for Rebekah’s books. I made one today. If you take a look at the book titles, you won’t find one with a fall title. We go straight from summer to winter.

seasonsof-faith-fall-leaf-large

And now it appears we have a hurricane named Matthew that may or may not turn towards Florida. The positive side is I do enjoy a rainy day.

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My 2016 Mid-West Trip~Part 13

28 Sep

A Slice of Life

 Bill Lites

 

Day 13 (Thursday)

 

As it turned out, I was disappointed to learn my friend, Terry, woke up with a sever crook in his neck and couldn’t go with me to the museums today. After breakfast I wished him a quick recovery, and headed out for Birmingham. My first stop today was to visit the Southern Museum of Flight located adjacent to the Birmingham-Suttlesworth International Airport. The museum’s collection of airplanes is located in a small exhibition hall (beautifully restored static displays) and outside static aircraft displays two blocks away.

 

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The outside displays are enclosed in a chain-link fence with no access. So, any pictures of the aircraft on display there have to be taken through the fence, which sometimes can make for a difficult process.

 

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I had tried to contact someone at the Old Car Heaven Museum in downtown Birmingham, but was unable to find out what their operating hours were. Greta took me to the correct address, but there were only two cars out front and the doors were locked. Just as I was getting ready to leave, this guy pulled up and went to enter the building. I asked him if I could take a look at the museum’s cars, and he told me to walk around to the back stairs and ask for the mechanic.

 

 

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The mechanic’s name was Tom, and he didn’t seem too happy to see me. After I told him I just wanted a quick look at the museum’s cars, he cooled down some. He walked me around the warehouse full of some 103 cars of all makes and models, in various stages of restoration. He informed me that he was the only mechanic, and was responsible for keeping all the cars running, and preparing the ones the boss wanted to display for any given event the restaurant/lounge sponsored. I told Tom I understood his frustration, when Fred (the guy from around front) let someone in without notifying him. He warmed up at that point, so I took some photos, and he told me all about some of the museum’s unique cars.

 

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Next on the list for today was a visit to the Baker Vintage Motorsports Museum located just east of Birmingham, off I-20 in Leeds, Alabama. This is a huge five-story museum complex housing somewhere in the neighborhood of 800 motorcycles, represented by over 200 manufactures from 20 countries, plus 100 race cars and automobiles. The museum building is laid out in such a manner that you can take an elevator to the fifth floor, and then slowly walk on a gradually sloping circular walkway, around the interior of the building, allowing you access to all of the motorcycles and vehicles on each floor as you slowly travel down.

 

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Each of the older motorcycles (beginning with many from the early 1900s) is perfectly restored, while many of the newer models look to be brand-new. This is an absolutely amazing display. In addition to the Vintage Motorsports Museum, the Barber Motorsports Park includes a world-class 16 turn 2.38 mile road course, and a vehicle proving ground which are both open to the public. If you are a motor sports fan, and ever get a chance to visit the Birmingham area, be sure to check out this museum and motorsports complex. You will be overwhelmed!

 

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I had planned to visit the Avondale Brewery, which was not far from the Old Car Heaven Museum there in Birmingham, but they did not open until 4 PM. While I was waiting for them to open, I Googled breweries in the area, and found that there were two others close.

 

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So, I went down the street a few blocks from there to see if I could get a tour of the Good People Brewery. They were open but informed me that they only gave tours of their brewery on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

 

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So, it was back to the Avondale Brewery to wait. I took a walk to stretch my legs, and down the block, I came across the Post Office Pies Restaurant.  The name intrigued me, so I stepped inside the door, only to find out that it was all about pizza pies, not dessert pies.

 

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At 4 o’clock I received my mini-tour of the Avondale Brewery. It consisted of two very small buildings and was a very quick tour. I commented to the tour guide/office manager how, as far as I could see, they had all the processing equipment that Budweiser had, and she said, “We would be a tiny speck on a sheet of paper compared to them!”

 

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On the way to the motel, I spotted the local Longhorn Steakhouse and stopped for another dose of my favorite meal of their baby back ribs, a sweet potato and a garden salad with ranch dressing. Then I headed for the motel to record today’s activities and prepare my list for tomorrow’s museum visits. So ends another great day of scenic travel and museum visits.

 

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—–To Be Continued—–

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Prosper where you are planted.

24 Sep

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

Unhappy where you are? Not pleased where God put you? Joy is around the corner. Find out how you can blossom where God plants you with my friend, Kathy Carlton Willis’ uplifting insights.

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09-16-16 Kathy Carlton WillisWe were excited about our brand new home, but not so much with our new sod and landscaping. It struggled to survive the move. Of course, the 100-degree heatwave didn’t help matters. The crux of the problem was transplant shock. Those green leafies were traumatized by being uprooted from their comfortable setting and placed into strange new surroundings.

We did all we could to “love on” our greenies. We refreshed them frequently with nourishing drinks of water. But even with the proper care, the bright green leaves of grass, trees and plants dimmed to a straw-like gold. Transplant Trauma.

It takes time and the proper care for transplants to adjust to new surroundings, and then they snap out of the shock and turn green again.

I know what it’s like to be a transplant, and perhaps you do, too. You wonder how it’s possible to prosper where you’re planted when you’re dealing with your own version of transplant trauma. We didn’t get to stay in the hometown of our childhood. No, God uprooted us. Took us from the comfort of what we knew and loved, and moved us to a new area that needed us. God often sends us to parched places—to rejuvenate others with refreshing green ministry.

Sometimes it takes a while to get acclimated. We go through a period of transplant trauma. Shock. The refreshingness of the lush green we offer others temporarily turns to dry hay. With the right amount of time to adjust, and with the loving care of our new surroundings, we green up again. It’s good to know it’s just a temporary condition.

Sometimes we come to a new place still grieving the loss of what we left behind. We bring that trauma with us until we come to accept it. Other times, we are eager to get started in the new ministry, but are confronted by the culture shock of the new area. We adapt. We add the water of the Word, confirming our calling to our new spot. We soak in the SONlight. We allow our Heavenly Master Gardener to tend to our needs while we tend to the needs of others.

Are you yearning to prosper where you’re planted? Repeat this phrase with me: “Transplant trauma is temporary. God’s tender loving care is permanent.”

Source: Prosper where you are planted. | Janet Perez Eckles

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Make a Joyful Noise

23 Sep

From the Heart

Louise Gibson

 

“The holiest of all holidays are those kept

by ourselves in silence and apart.

The secret anniversaries of the heart.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

I applied Longfellow’s words to my heart

and brought Christmas into view.

I decorated my Christmas tree.

I wish I could share it with you.

 

A beautiful glass cross adorns the top,

and tiny white angels express their song.

When I keep my thoughts on Jesus, our Lord,

I have Christmas all year long.

 

The Christmas Gift

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My 2016 Mid-West Trip~Part 12

21 Sep

A Slice of Life

Bill Lites

Day 12 (Wednesday)

 

I got on the road from Huntsville by 8:30 am, and arrived at my friends, Terry and Mary Simmons, house at 9:30 am. Their house is located just a few miles northwest of Lester, AL on the Alabama/Tennessee border. The plan was for Terry and me to drive over to the local R/C model airplane field and watch the members fly their models. As it turned out, by the time we had breakfast and got to the airfield, all the members had finished their flying for the day and were gone. So we headed back to his house for some lunch.

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Terry was telling me about the owner of the property, and how he had built his own grass landing strip next to his farm house. When he mentioned the owners name I was surprised! The man’s name was Epps, and the reason for my surprise was that we have a replica of a 1907 Epps ultralight aircraft on display at our VAC Museum in Titusville, Florida. I’m wondering if the man in Alabama might be related to the man who built and flew the original 1907 Epps aircraft in Georgia. That, by the way, was the first airplane recorded to have been flown in the state of Georgia. Terry is going to find out his full name so I can Google him to see if he might be related.

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After a delicious grilled ham and cheese sandwich and a short nap, Terry and I looked at airplane books and he related many stories of aviation enthusiasts and historical events. Mary cooked us a wonderful Milk Can supper. I had never heard of that, and when I asked her about the name of the dish, she related the history of the Milk Can supper to me.

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Mary used her Chef’s Oven to cook our small Milk Can supper, but I understand that people still use the traditional milk cans when cooking for large 40-50 person gatherings. I also discovered there are lots of Milk Can recipes on the internet, and even some “How-To” YouTube videos on the subject. After supper, Terry and I talked airplanes until past my bedtime. I finally called it a night, and settled down to a nice quiet (no traffic sounds) night’s sleep. He and I had made plans to visit aviation museums and car museums together tomorrow in Birmingham, Alabama, as my trip took me in that direction.

 

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—–To Be Continued—–

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A friend who refreshes.

17 Sep

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

As I mentioned in last week’s newsletter, this month is extra special as you’ll be inspired by other voices with uplifting messages. Here is the first one from my friend Kolleen Lucariello. Enjoy!

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09-09-16 LucarielloAs we flip our calendars from August, ushering in September, we say farewell to our summer vacations and hello to the season of back-to-school, cooler temperatures of fall and one of the highlights of our home: football. Here’s another bonus of September: it’s also Women’s Friendship Month and I love the gift of friendship!

Recently I was reading in Acts about Paul and how difficult life had become for him. He was beaten, bound with chains, accused by the Jews, imprisoned, taken before councils and Rulers, and then eventually sent to Rome. I imagine by the time Paul boarded the ship to begin his journey to Rome he was a tired man; he’d endured a great deal. As I’m feeling bad for him, this verse jumps out at me: “The next day we landed at Sidon; and Julius, treating Paul with [thoughtful] consideration, allowed him to go to his friends there and be cared for and refreshed” (Acts 27:3 AMP).

I simply adore the fact that Julius, the guard in charge, thought enough of Paul to recognize he needed the care and refreshment of his friends. That part of the story just blesses my heart because I’m so grateful for those who recognized when I needed the care and refreshment only a faithful friend could bring. While my journey, or your journey, may never look like Paul’s, it’s still possible for imprisonment to find us.

We might endure a prison of darkness when depression covers us like a thick heavy blanket. Or chained to a past we can’t seem to move away from. We may find ourselves standing before accusers—relentless in voicing their opinions while refusing to hear ours. Life is full of moments when the waters can become a turbulent sea.

That’s when we need our own Julius, the guard in our lives, to recognize our need for care and refreshment. Who is traveling your journey with you? Who is your guard in life that notices when you’re about to break? Who reaches out when you begin drifting away? We all need a guard like Julius, someone willing to stand by us, giving thoughtful consideration to our needs. And we all crave friends who bring care and refreshment to our lives. The ABCGirl said: Proverbs 11:25b promises, “Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed” (NIV).

 

Source: A friend who refreshes. | Janet Perez Eckles

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Procrastination

16 Sep

From the Heart

Louise Gibson

 

 

Today is the “tomorrow” that I thought about yesterday.
Then why is it said, “Tomorrow never comes”.
when it came today?

 

I have so much to do today,
I’ll have to think this through.
If I can’t complete it all,
Here’s what I’ll have to do.

 

I’ll set myself free from stress-
more time I’ll have to borrow.
I’ll reschedule today’s events-
“Thank God for tomorrow.”

 

P.S. I’m going to stop procrastinating-
(Once I get around to it.)

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40 Days of Generosity 2016

15 Sep

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

In the midst of the never-ending divisive speeches and billboards that characterize the Presidential election season, I saw this small sign that trumped (pun intended)  them all.

free-music-lessons-copy

Guitar, Vocals, Percussion 40 Days of Generosity

 

Last year, our town, Titusville, Florida joined together to encourage and strengthen this community that had faced massive job losses and homes whose dollar values made underwater look like an improvement. It was a month-long event and according to Florida Today, the community raised more than $200,000 for a splash park at Sand Point Park and $42,000 to help rebuild a Salvation Army building that would be used as a family emergency shelter in Titusville.

It was a joy to see and read about the large and small ways the community came together and that bonding had lasting results. I believe that hearts are intended for generosity. All hearts. In the past two months we have seen floods wipe out towns in West Virginia and Louisiana. It wasn’t FEMA who worked hand in hand  with the communities to salvage their homes, it was everyday people. Some were from community organizations, others church groups, and still others folks who loaded their vehicles with supplies and showed up. In the midst of the campaign frenzy, let’s remember that we are not what those seeking power choose to label us. We are good people. Generous people.

 

If you would like to learn more about 40 Days of Generosity visit LovingBrevard.org

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