Tag Archives: Humor

My Dad Changed the Family DNA

14 Jul

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

I'm a winner

I have been hearing about DNA Encoding. It seems that when a very traumatic event occurs in a life, it can affect the DNA, and future generations will have an irrational fear due to it. Well my dad was way ahead of the science. He didn’t give me an irrational fear but he did change the family DNA.

Me and dad

Me and dad

As a kid, if I got mouthy around him and THE LOOK from my mom didn’t work, he would grab the hair on the top of my head and pull until I was standing on tip toe. I hated having my hair pulled so I calmed down pretty quick. When our son came along, he did the usual kid thing of throwing himself on the floor and pitching a fit. Nothing worked to stop it. Finally at wit’s end, I reached down, grabbed his hair and pulled him off the floor. (Amazing how one’s body will follow the hair) It worked. Unfortunately, he did this frequently so a lot of hair pulling went on. Now I know, some people will be appalled by this, but it took the drama out of the situation.

When he was in kindergarten, his teacher asked him why the hair on the back of his head always stood up. His reply “my mom pulled it so much it stuck that way.” Embarrassing. Fast forward twenty years and he has a son whose hair sticks up in the same place.

I love this guy!

I love this guy!

My dad gave me a final hug twenty-three years ago today. I still miss him.

Doggy Walk

25 Apr

My Take

DiVoran Lites

2

 

I’m quite the home-body. I love having a free day when I can do all the things around here I want to do and need to do, no pressure. But sometimes I feel I should get out more, be more friendly.

When I saw the, “Doggy Walk,” sign in front of the SPCA I thought maybe I would check it out. One of the reasons I don’t go out more is because I don’t do the things I really like when I do go out. But animals, yep. Love them. I get to know all the dogs on the trail because fortunately people who walk dogs usually like to have their dogs admired.

One person, Julia, whom I have met is just as lovely as she can be, but a bit of a maverick. She walks her dogs off leash because they’re very small, somewhat aged, and non-aggressive. I used to walk my dogs off leash too. They weren’t aggressive, but they were big and the trail wasn’t the trail it was a dirt path and we never met anybody on it. Julia’s dogs love being out of doors and never cause any trouble except for the giant puppy, Leo, who is her granddaughters’ dog. At first he barked so much that he made trail-conversation impossible. Now with Julia’s gentleness he has become calm, so that I now love it when I see him running to greet me.

I decided to ask Julia if she would go to the dog walk with me and take a dog.

It was a new thought and I watched her process it. “I can’t take Leo,” she said. “I don’t’ usually have him on Saturdays anyway. Tucson might not like it…” Then she brightened. “Oh, I know, I’ll take Miracle.” She then beamed with excitement. I’ll put a dress on her and everyone will pay attention to her. She loves attention, and she does have clothes, you know.”

The walk was a couple of weeks away, but I started looking forward to seeing Miracle in her little dress. The next time we met, Julia was walking with Rene and her beautiful border collie, Joe. I must have been reading, “All Creatures Great and Small,” when I met Joe, because I was very taken with him and even wrote a poem about him. We invited them to go too, but when the day came they couldn’t. Rene usually visits her 94 year old uncle in a nursing home on Saturdays.

The big day dawned cool with a storm threatening, but we went anyway. Tucson got to go too. As we got out of the car, Julia mentioned that Rene told her I had written a poem about Joe. She said Miracle and Tucson were jealous, so I guess I’ll be putting on my poets smock and see what I can come up with.

I handled Miracle’s leash because Julia thought I’d like the reflected glory and I did. The black and white Chihuahua mix wore a combination flowered print and halter. Very stylish. She and Tucson wove in and out and Julia and I raised the leashes so the other could walk under or laid them on the ground so we could step over them. We walked with a whole string of other people and their dogs. The SPCA volunteers were kind and happy. The donations went into the side pockets on special vests worn by a couple of big, gentle dogs. It reminded me of the time we went to a Greek restaurant where the tips for the belly dancers went into a certain place around their waists… but never mind about that.

Anyhow, I loved the whole outing, but it was pretty short, so we decided we’d go to the next town and see the wonderful new, Chain of Lakes, trail. I’d been there once. The photo you see on my blogs was taken there by my friend, Melody Hendrix.

Julia wanted to start walking that trail right away, but I was slowing down. “We’ll do Chain of Lakes soon, “she said.

 

Improvise

11 Mar

From the Heart

Louise Gibson

Louise Gibson

 

“Nothing on earth can stop the man with the right mental attitude
from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with
the wrong mental attitude.”
Thomas Jefferson, Third President of the United States

 

“Ageless Body, Timeless Mind”
Deepak Chopra

 

Think happy – be happy
Our thoughts affect our chemistry

elegant lines

 

Positive Mind, Healthy Heart

Two nuns were on their way to the hospital where they worked when their car ran out of gas. They walked to he nearest service station, which didn’t have gas cans. Then one of the nuns remembered they had a bedpan in the trunk. They filled it at the gas station and carried it carefully back to the car. As they were pouring the gas from the bedpan into the car two men happened by in a truck. Staring in disbelief, one said to the other, “Now that’s what I call faith”. And were they surprised when those two nuns
passed them on the freeway. : – )

 

Lesson:  You need to locate the ability that lies within you to respond
creatively.  Be flexible.  When things don’t go your way, improvise.

Toy Truck

29 Nov

SUNDAY MEMORIES

Judy Wills

 

I admit it – I love to look at the e-mails we are sent, and I enjoy most of the facebook stuff I look at. I also have to admit that on FB, I usually just look for the “pictures” and videos rather than all the verbiage presented there.

I’ve been really amused by some of the pictures on FB. This one really caught my eye and had a good laugh over it. When I showed it to Fred, he laughed, as well.

1

What do you think? Cute, huh?

But think how creative that truck driver was to put this together. It didn’t really take a lot of thought to do this, but gave a great deal of enjoyment to those who saw it.

The same could be said of the things we say and do in our lives, to those around us. Do we say and do things that bring joy to those we live with? Or to our neighbors? Or to our fellow church-goers? Or have we become so jaded that we don’t have any joy left in our lives?

Recently I had total knee replacement – not a fun thing, that’s for sure. It was done to help relieve the pain in my knee, since the “cushion” in my knee was gone, and the two bones in my knee were grating upon each other. Ouch!! But through the surgery and the following physical therapy, I’ve tried to keep an upbeat spirit. One of the best exercises was what they call “foot pumps.” I joked that I would probably wake up from the anesthesia saying “foot pumps….foot pumps.”

I’ve joked with the therapists and their assistants. When the therapist commented that I wasn’t “grunting and groaning” when he was severely pushing on my leg, I told him that my mind was saying “I can do all things through Christ who keeps pouring power into me….. I can do all things through Christ who keeps pouring power into me….. I can do all things through Christ who keeps pouring power into me…..(and by the way – that’s what the Greek actually says!)” And he laughed. I’ve gone back to see the nurse on the floor of the hospital where I was for four days. She was such an inspiration – she even pulsed pom-poms as encouragement for us to get up and walk! She always had a smile on her face. And she seems pleased when Fred and I go back just to see her. We get hugs.

My time in the physical therapy clinic is past now….anything else I “recover” will be by my own working out. Recently on FB, I saw a video clip of a little girl – she couldn’t have been more than 1½ years old, trying to walk to her encouraging Daddy. The thing that impressed me was that she was trying to learn to walk with a prosthetic leg! I saw that and said to myself…”Well, Judy, if she can do THAT, you can just suck it up and dig in and work to get this leg back into shape! No more belly-aching!!”

Everyone says that laughter – a good old-fashioned belly laugh – is some of the best medicine anyone can have in healing. And that’s why that toy truck struck my funny-bone. It gave me such a good laugh, that my spirits were lifted.

And here’s a directive from scripture:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: REJOICE!

Philippians 4:4

Church Lady Typos

12 Nov

From the Heart

Louise Gibson

Louise Gibson

 

Life is serious, of this we all agree-

but experience has taught me,

one’s health is improved with glee.

 

These brought a smile to me.

I hope they do the same for you

 

Those wonderful church bulletins are back.

Thank God for church ladies who type.

These sentences actually appeared in

church bulletins or were announced

at church services.

 

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale.

It’s a chance to get rid of those things

around the house that are not worth keeping.

Bring your husbands.

 

Don’t let worry kill you – let the church help.

 

Miss Charlene Mason sang, “I will not pass this way again”,

giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

 

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married

on October 24 in the church.  So ends a friendship

that began in their school days.

 

The church will host an evening of fine dining,

super entertainment and gracious hostility.

 

Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 p.m.  Prayer

and medication to follow.

 

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing

of every kind.  They may be seen in the basement

on Friday afternoon.

 

: – )

 

I Will Meditate

 

Snakes, Doves and Renting Crowds.

10 Sep

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

I'm a winner

All week I have been strolling through my brain cells, in search of a topic to blog about and came up with zilch. This morning as I embarked on my walk around the world, reading blogs and searching twitter, I came across this post:

Rent a crowd

I had heard that some of the recent protest events had used paid protestors but even though I am always looking for an easy way to make money, I couldn’t see myself as a  paid protestor.  This post indicated some politicians had used paid cheering sections. I can cheer! After all, I once cheered for Disney World when they filmed their Christmas Parade. Then I read the part about scripted answers to questions from the press. I marked that one off too. I’m still looking for a way to make easy money so if anyone needs to hire a crowd to open a new Cold Stone, Brusters or Marble Slab ice cream store, I am available. Ditto for Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. If Dippin’ Dots is hiring, I will work in exchange for the dots as I love those cold BBs of ice cream and they are too expensive for me.

Dippin dots

Remember when people would say “a picture is worth a thousand words”? If you saw a picture of someone’s action, then you took it as truth. Now with Photoshop and video editing one is wise to consider carefully what we see, hear and read before accepting it as truth. Our Father knew about this and gave us wise counsel in Matthew 10:16

Matthew 10-16

Fair Babies

8 Sep

Our friend, Patricial Franklin is sharing today. Welcome back, Patricia!

Fair Babies

Patricia Franklin

I’m working the Pro-Life booth at the Fair. It is a lot of fun, and the children and adults love the baby dolls on display. Don’t know if you have ever seen them, but they are soft replicas of 12 weeks and up of what babies in the womb look and feel like. They feel the same, weigh the same, etc.  The kids love to hold them.  Last year a family came by — first the Dad came strolling by with two seven year old girls.  He walked on and the girls stopped to hold the babies.  The mother came up struggling with a baby stroller in the crowd, saw the girls, stopped, and shouted: “PUT THE BABIES DOWN AND BACK AWAY!! I looked at her and started to back away myself. The girls giggled, put the babies down and ran to catch up with their Dad. The exhausted mother stopped for a minute and told us the baby in the strollers was the first one she’d had in seven years and it was hard work. She said “And now I have to try to explain THIS to my girls!! Meaning pro-life. Then she stopped, relaxed, we both smiled and I said, ‘I’m sure you will do just fine.” I have thought about that so many times this year, and every time I have to smile… especially at her words … BACK AWAY, which is usually what you hear in the movies as a fierce warning.

I have never had a bad experience. Sometimes a few people will try to start an argument, but it just kind of dies on their lips and they either walk away, or we have a pleasant conversation about babies. Most people are very friendly and talkative and will often tell you the story of their lives. It used to be that people would walk by and try to ignore us, or they would act embarrassed. But something was very different last year. So many people stopped and talked to us. Many had never seen the replicas before, and I was surprised at this. Some came up and picked the dolls up and cradled them like they were alive. I was surprised by many young men who came by. One, who had on a ragged shirt and wore an earring said, “Oh, I love these! I want one of the babies!” He did not fit the stereotype of what you would expect by the way he was dressed. He was with some other young people. He got one from us, and several of his friends came back and bought some of the little 12 week replicas. They were apparently students and very pro-life. This would give them some help talking to their opposing students.

I have helped in the library at the Catholic School for years.  It is only one day a week.  We basically just check books in and out…. and read to the kindergarteners.  It keeps me in touch with the younger generation.

It is amazing how you get the feeling of people’s reactions even before they speak to you. Last year a young lady came and stood across the aisle from us for a long time, looking at our booth. Whenever I tried to catch her eye, she would look the other way. I got the feeling she would like some information, but did not want to talk to us. So I gave my attention to someone who came by. While I was busy, she came over to the end of the counter and picked up a brochure and walked off with it. My thought and prayer was instinctively “I hope you will save the baby.” I was almost certain that she or someone she knew was pregnant and did not know what to do about it.

Stressed Out? Try Humor

30 Jan

From the Heart

Louise Gibson

Louise Gibson

 

 

Humor is good medicine;

It has the power to heal.

You can’t laugh and remain sad;

Good endorphins you will reveal.

 

The Lord is our Heavenly Physician-

He advised “Be of good cheer”

“Lord, I can endure all things

As long as You are near.”

 

I have learned to accept myself

with all of my limitations and flaws-

“When I raise my sights to you, Lord,

My inner self is filled with “awes”.

 

(   A  laugh-at-myself analysis )

 

I was born a duck,

so I quack like a duck.

Yes, that “quack” came  out of me..

No matter how I envision myself a swan-

A duck I will always be!

 

IMG_0711

Ducks hanging out in the herbs

 

 

 

Karen and the Optometrist

12 Jan

 

SUNDAY MEMORIES

 Judy Wills

Judy Wills

                                                     

Unfortunately, Fred and I both wear glasses – or contact lenses at this point in time.  And also unfortunately, our oldest daughter, Karen, has needed glasses for a very long time – since she was in first grade.

When we were in Germany, and Karen was about 14 years old, the base optometrist thought contacts might slow down the rate of her astigmatism, and suggested contact lenses.  She wasn’t so sure at first, but after she got the hang of it, she was pleased with the results – no more glasses!!

After we returned Stateside, we were living a bit away from the base, but still did most of our “doctor stuff” at the Air Force base nearby.  When it was time to have the girls’ eyes checked, we went to the base optometrist.  Karen went in first for her exam, then sat with me while Janet had her exam.

When Karen came out of the exam room, she sat down and I could tell she was holding something in – she REALLY wanted to break out in laughter.  After Janet left us, she just let it out.  She said the doctor did the exam and told her that she might “eventually need to get glasses or contacts.”  When she told him that, not only did she have contacts already – but that they were in her eyes at the moment – he was dumbfounded!  She said she really had to “bite her tongue” to keep from laughing in his face!

After Janet finished up her exam the doctor came out to talk to me.  He looked really chagrined and said, “she really fooled me there.”  He had the most sheepish look on his face, and it made me grin at him.

I suspect that he was just a touch more careful with his examinations after that!

Just one of those hilarious memories that stay with us – and we laugh about over and over

.

Bandit

26 Jul

 From the Heart

Louise Gibson

author of Window Wonders

Like a “thief in the night

You stalked your prey

You watched my “goings”in and  out

You hid behind the tree all day

It was my heart you were searching out!

You were abandoned, hungry, and frightened,

Always anxious by day.

You were left at the home of the “Cat Lady”.

Would you be welcomed,

Or turned away?

” You don’t know the heart

 Of the “Cat Lady”, little friend-

You were welcomed the moment

She looked into your eyes

And saw the need that has no end-

It’s called “love!”