Tag Archives: Humor

Shouts of Glory

26 Dec

My Take

DiVoran Lites

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Psalms 148:1-7

Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!

Let the skies be filled with praise and the highest heavens with the shouts of glory!

Go ahead—praise him, all you, his messengers!

Praise him some more, all you heavenly hosts!

Take it up even higher up to the highest heavens until the cosmic chorus thunders his praise!

Let the entire universe erupt from nothing to something. He spoke and created it all. 

He established the cosmos to last forever, and he stands behind his commands so his orders will never be revoked.

A little Christmas humor.

DiVoran has been writing for most of her life. Her first attempt at a story was when she was seven years old and her mother got a new typewriter. DiVoran got to use it and when her dad saw her writing he asked what she was writing about. DiVoran answered that she was writing the story of her life. Her dad’s only comment was, “Well, it’s going to be a very short story.” After most of a lifetime of writing and helping other writers, DiVoran finally launched her own dream which was to write a novel of her own. She now has her Florida Springs trilogy and her novel, a Christian Western Romance, Go West available on Amazon. When speaking about her road to publication, she gives thanks to the Lord for all the people who helped her grow and learn.  She says, “I could never have done it by myself, but when I got going everything fell beautifully into place, and I was glad I had started on my dream.”

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A Good Belly Laugh

21 Aug

SUNDAY MEMORIES

Judy Wills

They say…”Laughter is the best medicine.”  I love to hear children laughing – that sweet, innocent gurgle is adorable.  I love to hear and see adults laughing so hard that tears run down their cheeks.    I have a picture here of my mother, her sister, and their mother all laughing at something – they were having a good belly laugh.  It’s one of my favorite pictures of them.

1953 – L-R – Aunt Jessie, Granny, Mother

I’ve mentioned in previous musings that I am on facebook a lot.  I get really amused at some of the pictures posted there.  Here are some of my favorites:

While I didn’t grow up in the era of the “Road Runner and Coyote,” our daughters did, and so we watched those cartoons with them.  And, being from New Mexico, these two critters touched home with me.  The person who managed his wreckage in this way had a great sense of humor.

Credit Google/FaceBook/Truck Warrior

Remember the “toy truck” I posed recently.  The creativity this took brought a chucked to my husband and me.

Credit Google/Facebook

I saw this one of the owls recently and was tickled by it.  I can just imagine my mother looking at me that way if I had said a curse word when I was young!

Credit Google/Facebook/Mary Balogh

Have you heard of the heat in Texas this summer?  It’s probably the worst heat Texas has had in a long time.  Glad I’m not there!  However, this picture – from Texas – showed up on facebook, and I got a real chuckle out of it.  It certainly made me wonder if those cookies would really cook in that heat!  What’s you guess?  If nothing else, the fragrance in the car would be absolutely delicious after working all day!

Credit Google, FaceBook and Litle Sunny Kitchen

Did I mention how hot it is in Texas this summer?  This one hits the spot!

Credit Google/Facebook/Angie Ward

And here’s a cute one for our fishermen:

Credit Google/FaceBookKippi At Home

This one always makes me laugh:

Credit Google/FaceBook/Truck Warrior

Nothing like a good laugh to cheer up your spirits.  These have helped me – and I hope my readers as well.

Have an enjoyable week – and look for the funny things in life!

Judy is living in Central Florida with her retired U.S. Air Force husband of 50+ years. Born in Dallas, Texas, she grew up in the Southwestern United States.She met her husband at their church, where he was attending the university in her town. After college and seminary, he entered the Air Force, and their adventures began.They lived in eight of our United States, and spent six years in Europe, where their oldest daughter was born. She was a stay-at-home mom for many years .

  Judy has always been involved with music, both playing the piano and singing. Always interested in exercise, she was an aerobic dancing instructor, as well as a piano teacher for many years, and continues to faithfully exercise at home.

After moving to Central Florida, she served as a church secretary for nearly nine years.Her main hobby at this point in time is scanning pictures and 35mm slides into the computer. She also enjoys scrapbooking.She and her husband have two married daughters and four grandchildren, including grandtwins as well as a great-grandson and a great-granddaughter. She and her husband enjoy the Disney parks as often as possible.

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Toy Truck

7 Aug

SUNDAY MEMORIES

Judy Wills

Reblogged from 2015

I admit it – I love to look at the e-mails we are sent, and I enjoy most of the facebook stuff I look at.  I also have to admit that on FB, I usually just look for the “pictures” and videos rather than all the verbiage presented there.

I’ve been really amused by some of the pictures on FB.  This one really caught my eye and had a good laugh over it.  When I showed it to Fred, he laughed, as well.

What do you think?  Cute, huh?

But think how creative that truck driver was to put this together.  It didn’t really take a lot of thought to do this, but gave a great deal of enjoyment to those who saw it.

The same could be said of the things we say and do in our lives, to those around us.  Do we say and do things that bring joy to those we live with?  Or to our neighbors?  Or to our fellow church-goers?  Or have we become so jaded that we don’t have any joy left in our lives?  

Recently [in 2015] I had total knee replacement – not a fun thing, that’s for sure.  It was done to help relieve the pain in my knee, since the “cushion” in my knee was gone, and the two bones in my knee were grating upon each other.  Ouch!!  But through the surgery and the following physical therapy, I’ve tried to keep an upbeat spirit.  One of the best exercises was what they call “foot pumps.”  I joked that I would probably wake up from the anesthesia saying “foot pumps….foot pumps.”

I’ve joked with the therapists and their assistants.  When the therapist commented that I wasn’t “grunting and groaning” when he was severely pushing on my leg, I told him that my mind was saying “I can do all things through Christ who keeps pouring power into me….. I can do all things through Christ who keeps pouring power into me….. I can do all things through Christ who keeps pouring power into me…..(and by the way – that’s what the Greek actually says!)”  And he laughed.  I’ve gone back to see the nurse on the floor of the hospital where I was for four days.  She was such an inspiration – she even pulsed pom-poms as encouragement for us to get up and walk!  She always had a smile on her face.  And she seems pleased when Fred and I go back just to see her.  We get hugs.

My time in the physical therapy clinic is past now….anything else I “recover” will be by my own working out.  Recently on FB, I saw a video clip of a little girl – she couldn’t have been more than 1½ years old, trying to walk to her encouraging Daddy.  The thing that impressed me was that she was trying to learn to walk with a prosthetic leg!  I saw that and said to myself…”Well, Judy, if she can do THAT, you can just suck it up and dig in and work to get this leg back into shape!  No more belly-aching!!”

Everyone says that laughter – a good old-fashioned belly laugh – is some of the best medicine anyone can have in healing.  And that’s why that toy truck struck my funny-bone.  It gave me such a good laugh, that my spirits were lifted.

And here’s a directive from scripture:

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  REJOICE!

Philippians 4:4

Judy is living in Central Florida with her retired U.S. Air Force husband of 50+ years. Born in Dallas, Texas, she grew up in the Southwestern United States.She met her husband at their church, where he was attending the university in her town. After college and seminary, he entered the Air Force, and their adventures began.They lived in eight of our United States, and spent six years in Europe, where their oldest daughter was born. She was a stay-at-home mom for many years .

  Judy has always been involved with music, both playing the piano and singing. Always interested in exercise, she was an aerobic dancing instructor, as well as a piano teacher for many years, and continues to faithfully exercise at home.

After moving to Central Florida, she served as a church secretary for nearly nine years.Her main hobby at this point in time is scanning pictures and 35mm slides into the computer. She also enjoys scrapbooking.She and her husband have two married daughters and four grandchildren, including grandtwins as well as a great-grandson and a great-granddaughter. She and her husband enjoy the Disney parks as often as possible.

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What Am I Looking For?

16 Feb

A Slice of Life

Bill Lites

Have you ever gone looking for something, only to realize when you get to the room, you have to stop and ask yourself, “What am I here for?”   The other day I was reading a book at my dining room table and wanted to underline and highlight a paragraph.  I got up and headed for our studio to get a straight-edge and a highlighter.  As I passed thru the kitchen, I happened to notice the clock on the stove read 9:43.  When I got to the studio, I had to stop and ask myself, “What am I here for?”  I couldn’t, for the life of me, remember what I had come to the studio for.  I had to return to the dining room to find out what I needed.  As soon as I saw the book on the table, I remembered what I needed.  Sound familiar?  This sort of thing seems to be happening to me and my wife more often these days.  

it: https://www.kissclipart.com/man-question/

A friend of mine told me about this time when he went up stairs to get something, and by the time he got to the top of the stairs, he had forgotten what he was after.  He had to go back down the stairs to the room where he had been working, before he remembered what he needed.  Then he had to go back up the stairs to get what he had originally started for.  That caused him to have to make two roundtrips to finally get what he was after.  Sound familiar?  He tells me this sort of thing is happening to him and his wife more often these days too.

Image Credit: https://www.123rf.com/clipart-vector/climbing_stairs/

So, what is going on?  It seems like everyone I talk to these days (young or older) is having these same kinds of problems.  Then someone suggested that it is that we have so much more to think about these days that our minds are cluttered.  Someone else thought it was because we have stored so much ‘stuff’ in our brains that it takes time for our brains to sift thru all that ‘stuff’ to remember what we are looking for.  It’s my opinion that we get distracted with so much that’s going on around us, that we forget what it is we want to remember.

Image Credit: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/cluttered/

Take for instance my example mentioned above.  By looking at the clock on my stove, as I passed thru the kitchen, it might have caused me to think of something I was planning to do later that morning and wondering if I was going to have time to do that thing before lunch.  My brain starts analyzing that question, and I might remember I need a special tool to complete that task, and there goes my memory of what I was headed to the studio to get.  And of course, there may be any number of distractions like that before I get to the studio.  It seems like it might be a matter of concentration for me.  If I can only keep my mind on the task at hand and not let it be distracted by fleeting thoughts, sights, or sounds, I might be better off and remember the initial thing.  So, what do you think?  Do you have any thoughts or opinions on the subject?  Come on, everyone has an opinion. Right?

Image Credit: https://www.123rf.com/clipart/focus_concentration/

We won’t even talk about forgetting names and places.  That’s for another time and a whole nother blog.  Have a great day and remember what you are there for.  If I remembered all I wanted to say, then this is…

—– The End—–

Bill is a retired Mechanical engineer living with his wonderful artist/writer wife, DiVoran, of 64 years in Titusville, Florida. He was born and raised in the Southwest, did a tour of duty with the U.S. Navy, attended Northrop University in Southern California and ended up working on America’s Manned Space Program for 35 years. He currently is retired and spends most of his time building and flying R/C model airplanes, traveling, writing blogs about his travels for Word Press and supporting his wife’s hobbies with framing, editing and marketing.  He also volunteers with a local church Car Care Ministry and as a tour guide at the Valiant Air Command Warbird Museum there in Titusville.  Bill has two wonderful children, two outstanding grandchildren, and a loving sister and her husband, all of whom also live in Central Florida, so he and DiVoran are rewarded by having family close to spend lots of quality time with.

One of Bill’s favorite Scriptures is:  John 10:10

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Divine Humor-Part 2

26 Apr

SUNDAY MEMORIES

Judy Wills

Credit Clipart Library

As I mentioned recently, I frequently have to go through the stuff on my computer, just to weed out stuff I don’t need any more.

In doing so, I often come across something that tickles my funny bone.  Below is part two of something I found.  Enjoy!

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.  The attendant worked quickly but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station.  Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. “Reverend,” said the young man, “sorry about the delay.  It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.”

The minister chuckled, “I know what you mean.  It’s the same in my business. “

*************************************************************************

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!” 

His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you ‘know’ what the Bible means?”

The son replied, “I do know!”

“Okay,” said his father.  “So, son, what does the Bible mean?”

“That’s easy, Daddy.  It stands for ‘Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.'”

*************************************************************************

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.  Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute.  The substitute wanted to know what to play.

“Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently.  “But you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more.  Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.” 

At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star Spangled Banner.”

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

Judy is living in Central Florida with her retired U.S. Air Force husband of 50+ years. Born in Dallas, Texas, she grew up in the Southwestern United States.She met her husband at their church, where he was attending the university in her town. After college and seminary, he entered the Air Force, and their adventures began.They lived in eight of our United States, and spent six years in Europe, where their oldest daughter was born. She was a stay-at-home mom for many years .

  Judy has always been involved with music, both playing the piano and singing. Always interested in exercise, she was an aerobic dancing instructor, as well as a piano teacher for many years, and continues to faithfully exercise at home.

After moving to Central Florida, she served as a church secretary for nearly nine years.Her main hobby at this point in time is scanning pictures and 35mm slides into the computer. She also enjoys scrapbooking.She and her husband have two married daughters and four grandchildren, including grandtwins as well as a great-grandson. She and her husband enjoy the Disney parks as often as possible.

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Airline Mechanic Maintenance Responses

5 Apr

SUNDAY MEMORIES

Judy Wills

Some years ago I saw this somewhere, and it really tickled my funny bone. See if it appeals to you, as well:

UPS Airlines [I’m assuming this is United Parcel Service aircraft]

Image result for ups airplane

Courtesy Google search and UPS website

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. 

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.  The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. 

Image result for cartoon mechanic image airplane

Courtesy Google Search and Ya-webdesign

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ‘ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P:    Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S:    Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P:    Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S:    Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P:    Something loose in cockpit

S:    Something tightened in cockpit

P:    Dead bugs on windshield.

S:    Live bugs on back-order.

P:    Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent 

S:    Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P:    Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S:    Evidence removed.

P:    DME volume unbelievably loud.

S:    DME volume set to more believable level.

P:    Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S:    That’s what friction locks are for.

P:    IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S:    IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P:    Suspected crack in windshield.

S:    Suspect you’re right.

P:    Number 3 engine missing.

S:    Engine found on right wing after brief search

P:    Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S:    Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P:    Target radar hums.

S:    Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P:    Mouse in cockpit.

S:    Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P:    Noise coming from under instrument panel.  Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S:    Took hammer away from midget.

Image result for people laughing cartoon

Courtesy Google Search and Clipartbay.com

Judy is living in Central Florida with her retired U.S. Air Force husband of 50+ years. Born in Dallas, Texas, she grew up in the Southwestern United States.She met her husband at their church, where he was attending the university in her town. After college and seminary, he entered the Air Force, and their adventures began.They lived in eight of our United States, and spent six years in Europe, where their oldest daughter was born. She was a stay-at-home mom for many years .

  Judy has always been involved with music, both playing the piano and singing. Always interested in exercise, she was an aerobic dancing instructor, as well as a piano teacher for many years, and continues to faithfully exercise at home.

After moving to Central Florida, she served as a church secretary for nearly nine years.Her main hobby at this point in time is scanning pictures and 35mm slides into the computer. She also enjoys scrapbooking.She and her husband have two married daughters and four grandchildren, including grandtwins as well as a great-grandson. She and her husband enjoy the Disney parks as often as possible.

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We Must Have Humor

29 Mar

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

Here in the U.S we seem to be virus weary. In various online church services today we were reminded to call those we know who are alone. Certainly good and loving advice. But my mind screamed what about those of us who have been inside with the same people for two weeks? We need fresh voices!

Facebook is filling up with humorous stories and videos. I particularly liked this one about homeschooling. The little guy on the harmonica is adorable.

There is a popular saying:

Live, Love, Laugh

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Need a Good Belly Laugh?

29 Mar

SUNDAY MEMORIES

Judy Wills

Something happened to me years ago that I remember – and it usually produces a good belly laugh to anyone to whom I tell it.  It wasn’t funny – at least to me – at the time, but that’s the way of things, isn’t it?

Okay, here goes:  We were living in San Antonio, Texas at the time.

Our girls were quite young.  Fred had gone somewhere (I don’t remember where) and had taken our only car with him.

As it happened, I was having…..well.….how do I put this delicately?  Ummm intestinal issues?  Rather severe, as a matter of fact.  Nothing I did seemed to help.  I called the hospital, Wilford Hall, on Lackland AFB, and explained my situation. They assured me that, if I could get there soon, they would take me right in and fix me up.

The original Wilford Hall

Next question – who can I get to come stay with the girls?  And I needed a car to get me to the hospital.  So I called a good friend who lived near, Sonja, and asked if she would come stay with the girls, and could I borrow her car?  She was agreeable to both.

So we made the tradeoff, and off I went to Wilford Hall.  As promised, they took me right in, and gave me some medicine that fixed me up, indeed.  I waited a bit to make sure I was okay, then went out to Sonja’s car to go home.

I opened the driver’s door, and took my first look in her car.  And what to my surprise did I see?  THE BACK SEAT WAS MISSING!!

WHAT??? (mouth hanging wide open at this point)

THE BACK SEAT WAS MISSING??!!

Who in the world would STEAL the back seat out of a car?

So I ran back inside the hospital and called Sonja at my house (remember – waaayyy before cell phones at that time!).  When I breathlessly explained the situation, Sonja began to laugh and laugh and laugh.  When she could finally catch her breath, she said, “Judy, come on home.  We’re having the back seat re-upholstered!”

Well, it’s funny now, but I felt like a first-class-idiot!  She assured me that I wasn’t, and thanked me for the best laugh she’d had in a long time!  I’m sure her husband did, as well, when she told him!

And I hope you did, too.  It’s so much fun to look back on those times of our life and see them fondly.

Judy is living in Central Florida with her retired U.S. Air Force husband of 50+ years. Born in Dallas, Texas, she grew up in the Southwestern United States.She met her husband at their church, where he was attending the university in her town. After college and seminary, he entered the Air Force, and their adventures began.They lived in eight of our United States, and spent six years in Europe, where their oldest daughter was born. She was a stay-at-home mom for many years .

  Judy has always been involved with music, both playing the piano and singing. Always interested in exercise, she was an aerobic dancing instructor, as well as a piano teacher for many years, and continues to faithfully exercise at home.

After moving to Central Florida, she served as a church secretary for nearly nine years.Her main hobby at this point in time is scanning pictures and 35mm slides into the computer. She also enjoys scrapbooking.She and her husband have two married daughters and four grandchildren, including grandtwins as well as a great-grandson. She and her husband enjoy the Disney parks as often as possible.

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Garfield

15 Mar

SUNDAY MEMORIES

Judy Wills

As I mentioned previously, when we were taking the daily newspaper, my favorite part was the “funny papers” or the comics.  I guess that shows just what a simple mind I have.  But that would get my day off to a funny start.

Consequently, when something hit me especially funny – or nostalgic – I would cut out that particular piece and save it for future enjoyment.

Garfield was one of my favorites.  There have been books and books printed with and about Garfield.  He is one funny cat!

And that’s probably why I enjoyed this particular cartoon so much.  I grew up with cats in my life, and they can really be funny animals.

Another reason this particular cartoon caught my attention was his activity.  I was an aerobic instructor at one time in my life, so this one really appealed to me.

I hope you get a good chuckle out of it – as did I.

Judy is living in Central Florida with her retired U.S. Air Force husband of 50+ years. Born in Dallas, Texas, she grew up in the Southwestern United States.She met her husband at their church, where he was attending the university in her town. After college and seminary, he entered the Air Force, and their adventures began.They lived in eight of our United States, and spent six years in Europe, where their oldest daughter was born. She was a stay-at-home mom for many years .

  Judy has always been involved with music, both playing the piano and singing. Always interested in exercise, she was an aerobic dancing instructor, as well as a piano teacher for many years, and continues to faithfully exercise at home.

After moving to Central Florida, she served as a church secretary for nearly nine years.Her main hobby at this point in time is scanning pictures and 35mm slides into the computer. She also enjoys scrapbooking.She and her husband have two married daughters and four grandchildren, including grandtwins as well as a great-grandson. She and her husband enjoy the Disney parks as often as possible.

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Breakfast Oops!

22 Feb

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

Image by Iva Balk from Pixabay

This morning I prepared scrambled eggs for our breakfast. I remembered that I had saved egg whites from the last batch of ice cream I made and never wanting to waste food, decided to add the whites to the eggs.

I took one bite, then another. Something wasn’t right!

Image by Karin Laurila from Pixabay

I sniffed. It couldn’t be! Cautiously I asked my daughter, “do your eggs taste like pickles?”

“Yes, she said and I kind of like the taste. It gives the eggs some zing.”( I love this girl)

Being a wise man and fond of his food, my husband kept eating.

Thinking on how this happened, I remembered making ice cream and adding two egg whites to a half full, small round container in the fridge. I often used that size for egg whites.

I asked my daughter about that container. Turns out she was saving pickle juice and the official pickle jars were full.

She put some in the type of small round containers that I put egg whites in!

Mystery solved and the eggs weren’t bad!

Have you had a cooking oops? Share so I won’t feel that I am the only one.

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