Tag Archives: Marriage

The missing rings~Part 1

20 Jul

My Take

DiVoran Lites

Author, Poet and ArtistIf you’ve ever had anything stolen, you have probably experienced the emotions and imaginations that plague victims everywhere. I always kept my engagement and wedding ring (which had been fused together by a jeweler fifty-seven years ago) on the top of my dresser on a solid glass ring holder along with a dinner ring left to me by Bill’s mother. The rings had a history together. Bill’s aunt gave him the diamonds for my rings when he wanted to get engaged. Later Bill’s mother wanted new rings and asked if I’d mind if she had hers made like mine, only in yellow gold. I didn’t mind. We didn’t even live in the same town any more. After Bill’s dad died, his mother again changed rings, only this time, she took the diamonds from her engagement and wedding rings and had them made into a beautiful dinner ring. When she went home to Heaven she left them to me. I’d been wearing both for many years, but only wore them when I went out so that they didn’t get in my way when I cooked, typed, or washed my hands.

One day, I was rushing to go somewhere on time and because the rings were always the last thing I put on, I reached for them. They weren’t there, but Bill’s wedding ring, which I sometimes wear was. I thought I recalled hearing something fall down behind the dresser, so I knew they were safe. I put Bill’s ring on and left. I figured I would find them later. Better yet, I would wait until somebody big, strong, and younger than us came over and could move the dresser. Bill has shoulder issues and my chiropractor doesn’t want me scooting heavy things.

That day I was having lunch with my daughter, but I decided not to tell her about the rings because I’d soon have them in hand and there was no need to worry her. It took several days before I even told Bill. The next morning while I was out for my walk he moved the dresser to look for them. They weren’t there. I moved the dresser myself to look for them, which was not too smart.

I then started looking in earnest. I looked all through the house, went through the dresser drawers. They needed to be organized, anyway. I looked through my few purses, checked every pocket of every garment I own, and thoroughly searched the car. No rings anywhere.

wedding-ring on satin jpg

Tags: , , ,

I Never Met a Pizza I Didn’t Like

15 Sep

My Take

DiVoran Lites

 

Author, Poet and ArtistTo celebrate our 57th wedding anniversary, Bill and I went out for pizza. Mama Rosa’s, where we had planned go, was closed for vacation so we schlepped on down to Kelsey’s in Port St. John. We had already celebrated twice, having normally scheduled meals with family members and calling them celebrations, but this was the real thing on the real day.

Bill took me for my first pizza when I was eighteen years old. The restaurant was on Central Blvd in Albuquerque. It was also where he took me for my first lobster. Then when he decided to ask for my hand in marriage he took me there again. I liked lobster fine, and I liked the T-bone steaks at a small diner where they only cost $2.00 a plate, but the love of pizza stayed with me for the rest of my life (so far.)

We did get married and our first month in California where Bill was going to school, we spent every penny we had with barely enough to pay the rent. We didn’t even have money for food. I think we spent it on movies or something equally frivolous. Anyhow, Bill’s friend drove out from New Mexico to visit and our mothers sent care packages. They knew we’d developed a passion for pizza so between them they sent five boxes of Appian Way pizza mix and a pizza pan to bake them on. We got by.

Later when I had a job with Magic Mirror Beauty Salons and Bill worked part time cleaning airplanes our favorite pizza palace was Sir pizza. I’d stop there after a hard Saturday on my feet, get a pizza with everything (except anchovies and green peppers), stop at Thrifty Mart for a bottle of Thunderbird, and we’d spend our Saturday evening watching our tiny black and white T. V. and munching away at our pizza. We loved the cowboy shows such as, “Rawhide,” and “Wagon Train,” and it was a lovely thing to look forward as we went to work Saturday morning. “See ya later, alligator, after while, crocodile.”

We started out eating a whole small pizza between us, but now all we can manage is half, which is great because that means we can stick it in the oven for fifteen minutes the next day and enjoy it all over again.

Listen, the reason we both look kind of funny in this picture is that I asked a man who was in front of us in the paying line to take the picture and he wasn’t sure what he was doing and he took one and it didn’t flash and Bill said take another one and we were both wondering whether he was going to be able to manage it or not. You can see we weren’t overly anxious, but then again who had time to smile with all that going on. We really did enjoy ourselves and are planning many more pizza times to come. We’ll try Mama Rosa’s again on my seventy-sixth birthday which is coming up soon. Y’all come. (You see we live in the South now, so I’ve taken on Southern talk.)

1

 

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Time is Going By Fast

19 May

1

My Take

DiVoran Lites

 

I’m surviving Bill’s being gone surprisingly well. I’ve only had a couple of moments of wondering what to do with myself. As you know, I enjoy solitude and I love being at home. I’m getting some blogs done and perhaps a bit of de-cluttering, though that isn’t going as I hoped, but who cares?

2Bill’s having fun too. He calls each night and gives me a report of his day’s doings and plans for the next day. It’s cooler in California than it is here, he layers his long sleeved shirt and his jacket. He’s taking notes for his blogs, so we can look forward to hearing all about his adventures.

Jacob is in Japan. He’s having a good time. He’s sending blogs and Face Book entries, though I’m not sure I’m either catching them all OR replying so that he hears back. His mother says the blogs make her laugh and cry. We may be extraordinarily well disposed toward Jacob, but we think he’s an excellent writer with a gift for humor.

Bill will be home on the 16th. By Thursday he had listened to unabridged books on his car C. D. At this rate the seven he took with him in especially purchased holders won’t last. Maybe he’ll get some music on the radio now that he’s near big cities in California and that will make his CDs last longer. He has developed a fondness for classical music. I’m not surprised, though I know he’ll always love Herb Alpert, Jackie Gleason, and Chet Atkins. He has such a good ear for music that when he started to take violin lessons as a child he could play by ear—that is until he fell out of a tree and broke his wrist. Did he really hate practicing that much?

The time is going by fast. I may “let” him go for this long again, though on the way to the airport I told him I wished he’d cut back to seven days. Neither of us has changed since we were eighteen. I always preferred a book, and he always preferred to be on the move. It’s wonderful that at this time of our lives we can pursue our passions while still having good times when we are together.

3

 

 

.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

A Time To Be Alone

5 May

Kitty

My Take

DiVoran Lites

Bill got to the airport by 6:00 a. m. We talked all the way there so the forty-five minute trip went quickly. I have been encouraging his sixteen-day trip because I want him to feel free to do what he wants to do, just as he encourages me. But on the way, I let him know that I wished he wouldn’t go for so long. He said he wouldn’t always; he thought about ten days would be good in future. I think so too, though I must admit I am looking forward to being alone, but not alone during this time.

Being seventy-five and seventy-six, and having been married fifty-six years—being first-born perfectionist, control-freaks requires a lot of discussion, and a great deal of give and take. Brush fires flare, but are soon snuffed out by love and forgiveness. Above all we know how blessed we are to have had each other and our family for all these years without any major disasters. But still…we’re both independent and we both like things to go our way. It’s the little things.

After I got home I spent time with my journal, reheated the coffee I took along, had an egg and toast and went back to bed for an hour. The first thing I did when I got up was to take all Bill’s pills off the dining room table and put them in his room out of my way. I set up my book prop and a couple of books as a reading station for meals, moved the large rug in the studio to a spot I like, and started a new shopping list. Some things I want to buy myself but he’s so efficient at taking the list and going to the store that I find them delivered before I even go out. What I want right now and have been wanting for a long time is a new kitty litter scoop, chosen by me. See what I mean about it being the little things?

I had to laugh when I sat down at the computer. There are a few things that bug Bill no end, so he left me this:

DiVoran—Please use this checklist while I am gone-Thanks.

  1. Lock all doors at bedtime.
  2. Lock all doors when you go for your walk.
  3. Turn off the water after you water your plants &flowers.
  4. Make sure refrigerator door is closed before you go to bed at night.
  5. Take out the trash on Friday mornings-No recycle until I get back.
  6. Turn off coffee-tea makers & cup warmers before bedtime. (I guess that means I’m allowed to forget and leave them on all day.)

Love ya,

Bill

So for two whole weeks now we are free. He will drive, drive, drive in the deserts and mountains of the Southwest and I will write, write, write in my comfortable house that I love.

Ecclesiastes three is a popular chapter and I use it a lot. I believe there is a time for everything. I like it that in our marriage there is a time to be together and a time to be alone. I’m glad also that there is more time together than alone and that we still have each other after all these years.

1 wedding

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Divine Sparks Part~2

10 Feb

My Take

DiVoran Lites

Author, Poet and ArtistThe next time I felt the divine spark of God’s love was when the strained seams of our marriage started to open up. By this time, we had two small children and lived in Titusville where Bill worked with the Space Program. By this time even though we had been married twelve years, we had never learned to communicate or to appreciate each other.

At this time, I begged God for help. I asked him to change our marriage, beginning with me. We had some counseling and some help and we finally started talking to each other. We told each other every bad and good thing we’d thought and experienced since we’d known each other and all about our childhoods. We laughed, we cried, and in a new way, we became truly married.

Even better, we both continued talking to God. Any time I think about sharing my divine sparks with someone else, I wonder: when did I actually receive Christ? Was it when I saw the power and love represented in the majestic peaks near our Colorado home? Maybe it was later in Titusville when my Sunday School teacher went through the Four Spiritual Laws. I saw then that it was not enough to give intellectual assent to who Christ was, but I needed to invite Him to take over my life.

I’ve had quite a journey with many divine sparks along the way. Knowing I’m going to Heaven when I die gives me lots of security and peace. God saving our marriage was the biggest and most important thing He’s done so far. But he also got us through some tough times. He did another miracle that changed me profoundly. He let me see who I was in Him. I wasn’t just a person who needed to be kept in her place; I was unique and special. You are unique and special too. God never made an exact duplicate of any person and He has a reason and a purpose for knitting each of us in our mother’s womb.

I had to have some more counseling later in life. My occasional bouts of depression had spun out into four months of feeling rotten. The biggest thing my counselor discovered out of all my ramblings was that I cared more what other people wanted than what God wanted. I said, “I know I should do this or that, I know I ought to feel this way or that way.” But the only way I was ever going to be settled and joyful was to find out the truth about who I really was. My wants, needs, desires, interests, counted with god. He gave them to me. By listening kindly to myself, I could listen more kindly to everyone else. Since that time, I have become more excited about life than I’ve ever been before. Who knows what wonderful things God has in store? The greatest things is knowing Him. I still need to be validated, It’s important for people to respect me. But now I know Someone perfect, unchanging, and powerful, who will always love me, who will never leave me or forsake me. My needs are covered by His righteousness. He gives me faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Fifty Six Years and Counting

16 Sep

Bill and DiVoran Lites

wedding 2

Bill and DiVoran met in Albuquerque when they were seniors in high school. After graduation, Bill took off for Navy boot camp and DiVoran headed for Beauty School. They grew to know each other through letters while Bill was overseas. In September of 1957,they were married in La Mesa, California. Four months later Bill shipped out to Japan and DiVoran went home to Mother and Dad to finish Beauty School.

After Bill’s Navy tour, they reunited in 1958 in Inglewood California where Bill attended Northrop University. DiVoran went to work for Magic Mirror Beauty Salons as a stylist. They both worked hard, but they had a lot of fun too. They went to the beach, the movies, and the pizza parlor. They watched, “Rawhide,” and, “Wagon Train,” on their small black and white TV as the jets flew over their house every three minutes to land at LAX.

In 1962, God blessed them with an incredible daughter, Renie. In 1964, He sent Billy, a bouncing baby boy-who hasn’t stopped bouncing yet. Renie and Billy helped each other through childhood and teen-hood in Titusville, Florida. Bill worked in the Space Program, while DiVoran’s role was as a happy-to- stay-at-home mom. The family went on many exciting trips. One year they took off one weekend a month to go camping. Life got even richer when Renie married Ron, and Billy married Lisa. Then there were GRANDCHILDREN, Lacey and Jacob. Retirement is great! Bill still has a passionate interest in airplanes, writes blogs, volunteers at Valient Air Command as a guide, and with Car Care where people go to get their cars repaired, paying only for parts. DiVoran blogs, writes novels, journals, and paints. Once a week she teaches a wide range of children in Sunday School which is one of the high points of her week. Bill stands in too, when she needs help. Both thank God for the family and the friends He has given them. Nothing would have been the same without Him or them.

“Grow old along with me!/ The best is yet to be,/ The last of life for which the first was made.” Robert Browning

Tags: , , , , , ,

My Beloved – Part 2

9 Jan

A Slice of Life

Bill Lites

DiVoran & I became good friends, and when the foursome broke up, Bud went on to girls of another persuasion and the next thing I knew DiVoran & I were going steady.

1

We went the movies, went to church, went roller skating , and cruised Albuquerque’s Central Avenue my restored 1940 Chevy coupe.  This evolved into our getting engaged.

2

I joined the U.S. Navy when I was 18 and went on a 6-month cruise of the Mediterranean on the aircraft carrier USS Coral Sea.  We wrote letters to each other every day and signed them “All my love…”   After I returned to the U.S. I was transferred to the Fleet Repair ship USS Hector that was stationed at the San Diego Naval Base.

3

When family friends from San Diego stopped in Albuquerque during their vacation to visit my parents, they offered to take DiVoran home with them to see me.  That was when we decided to get married.  Our fathers were both on trips for their jobs, so our mothers came to San Diego for the wedding.  DiVoran was 18 and I was 19.

4

The car I owned at that time was a highly modified ’32 Ford coupe, and DiVoran hated riding in it because there was only one bucket seat for the driver and the rest of the interior floor was a sheet of plywood that she had to sit on.   Not long after we were married, I traded my “Pride & Joy” wheels for a nice ’50 Mercury sedan that DiVoran could drive.

5a5b

 

 

 

We lived in San Diego for 6 months until I left on the USS Hector for 8 months duty in Japan.  DiVoran went back to Albuquerque to wait for me and complete beauty school.

beauty school

By the time I was discharged from the U.S. Navy, I had finally seen the need for more than a high school diploma to make a decent living.  We moved to Los Angeles for me to attend Northrop University.  DiVoran worked full time with the Magic Mirror chain of beauty salons, and I worked part time servicing airplanes at LAX to help pay for my education.  DiVoran said it was the best investment she ever made.

7

We lived and worked in L.A. for 8 years where our two children, Renie and Billy,  were born.  We moved to Titusville, Florida in 1965 with the Apollo Manned Space Program.  I worked that program and various other missile programs, through the years, as an Ordnance Engineer until my retirement.

 

3,2,1

DiVoran and I live in the same house we bought new in 1965 and plan to live here together forever.  We are both happy as clams with our favorite past times, R/C model airplanes for me and novel writing and painting for DiVoran.  Our children and their families both live in Central Florida, which makes it great for us to be able to see them and our Grandchildren often.

 

9a

 

9b

 

 

 

 

 

As a side note, DiVoran and I both learned to type in that high school typing class, and that is one of the things that is helping us write these weekly blogs.

10

The story of “My Beloved” and me will never end.  However, that’s all for now folks.

Proverbs 5:18

 

Tags: , ,

No More Pizza Please

5 Sep

 

A Slice of Life

Bill Lites

My parents had many hopes and dreams for my sister and me, and tried to give us every advantage they could, so we could realize those dreams.  One way they tried to help me, was to set aside a small scholarship fund when I was born, to help pay for my college education (their dream for me).

I had always wanted to be a mechanic.  My plan was to send money home to my wife every month while I was in the Navy so we would have enough saved to last until she and I were able to find jobs after I got out.  She was a licensed beautician in New Mexico and I planned to work part-time while I went to school.

After I got out of the Navy, my wife and I moved to Inglewood, California for me to go to Aviation Mechanic School.  The problem was, I didn’t really know how the job market worked, so, when I talked to the  school registrar, he convinced me that I didn’t really want to be a mechanic, but an engineer.  Looking back on it, I’m sure he got extra points for every person he signed up for the three-year engineering course over the one-year mechanics course.

When I insisted I wanted to be a mechanic, he said, “Well, okay, we have the perfect course for you, it will give you a Mechanical Engineering degree and an Aviation Mechanics license”. I think I bought into that mainly because he told me how much more money I would be making as an engineer and, it would also make my parents happy,

All of that was great, but the next class startup for that course was two months away, so we started looking for work.  That’s when we discovered that my wife’s New Mexico license wouldn’t be accepted in California and she would have to take the California State test.  We lived it up while the money lasted, but then things started getting really tight.  We had to stop driving the car and go everywhere we could on my 1955 Harley Davidson motorcycle.

Finally, in desperation, a friend got us both a job packing Christmas cards, which barely paid for our rent and gas.  We were too proud to ask our parents for help, because I guess we wanted to prove to them that we were adults and could make it on our own.  There was one week during that time we were lucky the motorcycle had a full tank of gas and we didn’t have to buy any food, because I walked around all week with just one nickel in my pocket until we were paid.

At  Halloween we were told the neighborhood kids did bad “tricks” to houses and cars if they didn’t  get lots of “treats”.  We didn’t have money to buy any treats, so we rolled my motorcycle into the living room of the tiny apartment we were renting, and took the car to the drive-in movie.  Of course, we didn’t have enough money for both of us, so my wife got in the trunk.  Boy, what kids will sometimes do to avoid confrontation.

Well, somehow our parents realized we were in bad financial straits, and each family sent us a “Care Package” consisting of four boxes of Appian Way Pizza.  Those packages got to us just in the nick of time, as we had just celebrated Thanksgiving with a plate of pinto beans, no seasoning of any kind except salt.  We really enjoyed that pizza for the first week or so (two or three times a day) but then it started getting really tiresome.  We still have the “Special Offer” pizza pan that we got with all those Appian Way Pizza box tops.

Somehow, we survived until my wife’s California Beautician’s license came through, and she got a job. After that, our immediate problems were over, but that’s not to say we didn’t have a lot more life changing encounters over the eight years we spent in Inglewood, California.

Scripture: Philippians 4:19 (The Message)

 

Tags: , , , ,

Jazz Song

21 May

My Take

DiVoran Lites

Listening to jazz on Pandora I heard, “A good gal (or a good guy) nowadays is hard to find, you always get the other kind.” But did the jazz masters get it right? Well, maybe yes and maybe no.

For a wedding gift my best friend gave us a plaque with two Amish people facing each other with their hands behind their backs kissing chastely. The plaque said, “Kissin’ don’t last, cookin’ do.” I’ve thought about that a lot over the years. Thank heavens we two old codgers are still kissing, but there are some things in our relationship that may last longer and matter more in the end.

First, of course you have to have real, true love or a good potential for it. Then you both have to have a similar sense of humor. One night when Bill and I were two teens out for on date, we got to giggling and couldn’t stop. That was when I began to suspect he was the guy for me.

You need to be able to talk to each other for a long time about more subjects than cars and whether your bathing suit makes you look fat.

You need a common sense of values. The Bible says, “Be not unequally yoked.” What that means is that the more your backgrounds are alike the better chance your marriage will have. If you’re a Christian you’re far wiser to marry a Christian from the start. People don’t change nearly as often as we think they do.

Look for mutual courtesy, plain old please and thank you, with some genuine apologies thrown in when needed. I love you always goes down well, and in some ways is the greatest courtesy of all.

Now a few don’ts: Don’t marry anyone who is full of bitterness or self-pity. Complaining is your first clue. They may wrench your heart and they may have you convinced they can’t live without you. They make you think you’re the only one who can help. Nope, it doesn’t work that well. You’ll discover that if you don’t fall for it they’ll replace you in a trice. Try it if you don’t believe me.

We know to avoid active substance abusers. They might get well someday, but we’re more likely to become enablers than we are to see them heal.

It helps if two people have compatible views on earning, saving, paying, giving. Money is a big marriage buster, but you can get a lot of good out of it if you know how to handle it.

So that’s it. Perhaps a good mate is hard to find, but it’s not true that you  ALWAYS get the other kind.

Tags: , ,

Newer Entries →