Tag Archives: Marriage

62 Years and Counting-Part 5

13 Aug

SUNDAY MEMORIES

Judy Wills

Day five of our seven-day cruise was another day at sea.  Again we spent most of the day walking the ship, eating and resting.  Up on the Cabanas deck, there is the swimming pool and places for the sun-worshipers.

Above the pool is a huge screen, and it is usually running either a movie, or something for the children to enjoy.

There is also an area that is just for adults – no one under 18 is allowed to swim, sun-bathe or eat in that area.  It is quiet, mostly, and very relaxing. (some of the following pictures are from other cruises we’ve taken, not necessarily on the Fantasy)  Also on that deck is a salad and wrap stand,

a hamburger stand,

a pizza stand, 

a dessert stand,

 and the soft ice cream stand, as well as the soft-drink fountain drink dispensers.  So it’s kind of nice to get an ice cream and just sit and people watch.

The final day of the cruise takes us to Disney’s island in the Bahamas – Castaway Cay.

 We have always – always – enjoyed our time on the island.  While we don’t participate in the water sports, we have frequently taken the glass-bottom-boat ride.  And occasionally we have rented bicycles and taken a ride around the island.  But this time, we did neither of those things. 

We just walked around and enjoyed being on the island.  Instead of walking our way down to the “adults only” beach, we took the tram – it’s a LOOOONG walk.  It actually looks like it could be a runway for a small airplane!  Fred was told once that it is about 8,000 feet long – and we’ve walked it before – there and back to the main part of the island.  Whew!

While we were down at that beach, it became time for lunch, and they were serving BBQ that day.  So we loaded up our plates and found a picnic table.  Some of the ship’s servers always go onto the island to help with the meal, and so we get to meet other servers.  This particular day, after sitting down, one of the servers came to talk with us.  I didn’t catch his name, but noticed that his name tag said he was from Brazil.  I asked him if he enjoyed working for Disney, and he replied, “it’s a job.”  He said the thing he missed the most was his child back in Brazil.  He had just come off a vacation, and was a bit homesick.

We talked about other things a bit, and then he needed to tend to something else in the eatery area.  And then we spoke with another server who was from the Philippines.

All that to say that, during our last night’s meal in the Royal Court Restaurant, I spotted that young man from Brazil, serving another table near ours.  Since I’m sure he sees hundreds of people each day and each different cruise, I was convinced he wouldn’t remember us or our conversation from that afternoon.  As we were leaving the restaurant, the doorway was next to a staging area for the servers.  This Brazilian young man was exiting the staging area, saw us, and his face split with the biggest grin!  So he did remember us!  Perhaps it was because we had taken the time to talk with him…who knows.  I didn’t see many other guests talking with the servers on the island.  Whatever it was, we had made a favorable impression on him.  It made my heart glad.

So that concludes our cruise.  We sailed overnight back to Port Canaveral, arriving in time to have a quick breakfast, then disembarking the ship and go through Customs.  It’s so convenient to have our car parked right there at the port – just hop in and drive that hour’s drive home!

Our bed felt VERY good that night!

~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~

Judy is living in Central Florida with her retired U.S. Air Force husband of 50+ years. Born in Dallas, Texas, she grew up in the Southwestern United States.She met her husband at their church, where he was attending the university in her town. After college and seminary, he entered the Air Force, and their adventures began.They lived in eight of our United States, and spent six years in Europe, where their oldest daughter was born. She was a stay-at-home mom for many years .

  Judy has always been involved with music, both playing the piano and singing. Always interested in exercise, she was an aerobic dancing instructor, as well as a piano teacher for many years, and continues to faithfully exercise at home.

After moving to Central Florida, she served as a church secretary for nearly nine years.Her main hobby at this point in time is scanning pictures and 35mm slides into the computer. She also enjoys scrapbooking.She and her husband have two married daughters and four grandchildren, including grandtwins as well as a great-grandson and a great-granddaughter. She and her husband enjoy the Disney parks as often as possible.

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To Bill

6 Jun

My Take

DiVoran Lites

Soon we will be celebrating our 65th wedding anniversary when we more or less ran away to get married. Our mothers, Bill’s sister, and my cousin and aunt made it to California, where Bill was in the Navy. Our Dads, who both traveled for their work, missed it.

Here is my tribute to you, my love.

Thank you for making us a pair. 

Thank you for the good times and the hard times.  

Thank you for your forgiveness and comfort.

Thank you for your safety and the knowledge of handyman things.

Thank you for your resounding laugh.

Thank you for your curiosity about almost everything.

Thank you for being a tenacious man who got things done.  

Thank you for your tender love.

Thank you for loving and caring for our children. 

Thank you most for trusting Jesus and teaching us to know him too. 

DiVoran

DiVoran has been writing for most of her life. Her first attempt at a story was when she was seven years old and her mother got a new typewriter. DiVoran got to use it and when her dad saw her writing he asked what she was writing about. DiVoran answered that she was writing the story of her life. Her dad’s only comment was, “Well, it’s going to be a very short story.” After most of a lifetime of writing and helping other writers, DiVoran finally launched her own dream which was to write a novel of her own. She now has her Florida Springs trilogy and her novel, a Christian Western Romance, Go West available on Amazon. When speaking about her road to publication, she gives thanks to the Lord for all the people who helped her grow and learn.  She says, “I could never have done it by myself, but when I got going everything fell beautifully into place, and I was glad I had started on my dream.”

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Do Not Let the Sun Go Down

14 Mar

My Take

DiVoran Lites

Image by Reimund Bertrams from Pixabay

When sudden angers flare,

Maybe you don’t care.

And I don’t want to share

There comes a time to stop.

Perhaps not all was said, 

But it is time for bed.

Don’t keep it in your heart

Each evening we must part

And put it all to rest

Peaceful sleep is  best

Though we don’t agree

I love you; you love me

Sometimes that is enough

Though marriage can be tough

Tomorrow we’ll be new.

DiVoran has been writing for most of her life. Her first attempt at a story was when she was seven years old and her mother got a new typewriter. DiVoran got to use it and when her dad saw her writing he asked what she was writing about. DiVoran answered that she was writing the story of her life. Her dad’s only comment was, “Well, it’s going to be a very short story.” After most of a lifetime of writing and helping other writers, DiVoran finally launched her own dream which was to write a novel of her own. She now has her Florida Springs trilogy and her novel, a Christian Western Romance, Go West available on Amazon. When speaking about her road to publication, she gives thanks to the Lord for all the people who helped her grow and learn.  She says, “I could never have done it by myself, but when I got going everything fell beautifully into place, and I was glad I had started on my dream.”

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On the Street Where You Live…Part 5

1 Sep

SUNDAY MEMORIES

We left Texas behind us, visited in Albuquerque, then stopped in Colorado for the wedding of Fred’s youngest sister, on our way to San Jose.

1966 – Colorado Mountains

Fred’s sister and her to-be-husband

Since San Jose State College (now University) was a “city” college – located within the city itself, there was very little parking.

Credit Google Search and San Jose State University website

 Consequently, we rented an apartment near the campus.  We could just park the car in our space at the apartment complex, and Fred could walk to class, without having the hassle or time trying to find that unavailable parking spot.  Frequently, I would walk to the public library – gave me good exercise, and an excuse to sit and read.

This little apartment – again, furnished – had a small living room, a very small kitchen with an eat-in nook at the end with a table and four chairs, where Fred did his studying at night.  The living room had a couch and one chair, with some lamps for light.  The bedroom and bath had very little except the bed and small dresser.  The bathroom was standard with tub/shower, sink and toilet. Very efficient.

Our apartment complex Credit Google Search and Redfin

This apartment was in a fairly large complex, with lots of apartments and students.  We became fast friends with our very next-door neighbors, as the husband was also an Air Force person, studying right along with Fred to become meteorologists.  We have continued that friendship even to this day.

Credit Google Search and SJSU – Meteorology Department

We found a church to join, but later discovered it really wasn’t where God wanted us to be.  We learned a good lesson from that one.  You see, the pastor was an old friend of my Dad’s, and he and his wife practically begged us to join their church.  They could use Fred’s Seminary experience in their Sunday School program. They could use my experience with the piano or organ in the worship services.  And so, we joined.  We knew it would be only for one year, since Fred would be assigned somewhere else following his schooling at SJSC.  But what we learned is that, whenever we moved to a new place, and began searching for a new church home, we would only join a body of believers if we absolutely KNEW that was where God wanted us to be.  And we could tell people from churches who visited us that, no it wasn’t that we didn’t feel God present in their church…just that we didn’t feel that’s where God wanted us to be.

Consequently, we have been quite at home in all the churches we’ve been members of in all our moves.  God has planted us in places where, yes we could be used, but also right where He wanted us.  Sometimes it was for a specific reason that we didn’t realize at the time, but would find it later, frequently after we had left that location.  It’s always best to follow God’s leading.

~~~~~~~~~~To Be Continued~~~~~~~~~~

Judy is living in Central Florida with her retired U.S. Air Force husband of 50+ years. Born in Dallas, Texas, she grew up in the Southwestern United States.She met her husband at their church, where he was attending the university in her town. After college and seminary, he entered the Air Force, and their adventures began.They lived in eight of our United States, and spent six years in Europe, where their oldest daughter was born. She was a stay-at-home mom for many years .

  Judy has always been involved with music, both playing the piano and singing. Always interested in exercise, she was an aerobic dancing instructor, as well as a piano teacher for many years, and continues to faithfully exercise at home.

After moving to Central Florida, she served as a church secretary for nearly nine years.Her main hobby at this point in time is scanning pictures and 35mm slides into the computer. She also enjoys scrapbooking.She and her husband have two married daughters and four grandchildren, including grandtwins as well as a great-grandson. She and her husband enjoy the Disney parks as often as possible.

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Five warning signs when finding the right woman (or man)

18 May

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

 

Reblogged May 18, 2019 With paper towel in hand, Jack wiped the bowl of cereal his two-year-old son spilled on the table. “Stop it,” he screamed grabbing the small hand from splashing in the puddle of milk. “I don’t know if I can handle this.” His plans were never to be a single Dad, juggling work, child care and diapers. What went wrong?

In his own words:

“I never saw it coming. She seemed the perfect gal for me. We had good times. And although we had issues, I was sure when we got married, she would change. I even helped her get out of debt. But she was never happy. And when our son was born, I thought that would be the glue to keep us together. Was I ever wrong! She said motherhood wasn’t her thing. I guess the guy she moved in with offered her more than I did.” Could Jack have prevented the disastrous ending of his marriage? Before walking down the aisle, Jack should’ve seen the red flags. But because he wore the blindfold of romance, the warnings faded into the marriage-will-make-it-all-better deception. But all could have been avoided if Jack had followed these five warning signs when finding the right woman for him. (NOTE: These warning signs can also be applied when women are searching for the right man.)

The 5 Signs

Sign No. 1. She carries insecurity like an over-sized purse everywhere she goes. She’s intimidated by others, making unreasonable accusations, putting undeserved blame on others. Her character displays manipulative tendencies. A woman who is secure in who she is—a daughter of the King, exudes understanding, maturity and conveys humble confidence. If she does not, say good-bye and wait patiently until God brings that jewel into your life. “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10) Sign No. 2. She’s excessive in her concern about outer appearance. Her fear is not of God, but her fear is failing to keep up with the latest fashion and cosmetic trends. She spends unreasonable amounts of money on her efforts to enhance her outer appearance. Though she may look hot, coldness will eventually wash over the relationship with her distorted order of priorities. Look instead for inner beauty because, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:31) Sign No. 3. She wants you all to herself. The support she offers you is conditional and superficial. She strives to create a distance between you and your family, friends, church commitments and all that’s important to you. You’re caught in a trap: do you please her at the expense of leaving behind what she doesn’t approve of? This dilemma causes disagreements that outnumber pleasant moments in her company. And to appear all is under control, you stuff the stress inside. And should you say “I do” at the altar, you’ll be wishing you didn’t. The standard to measure the ideal wife is this: “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:11-12) Sign No. 4. Her tendencies are to view the negative of most situations. Her outlook on life reveals a worrisome, complaining and quarreling nature. She says she loves you and has successfully snared you into feeling good about the unhealthy relationship. But feelings are fleeting and vanish, leaving behind grief, stress and regret. The best way to avoid regret is to face the raw truth—a quarrelsome girlfriend turns into a quarrelsome wife. Each dispute should spark this reminder: “A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.” (Proverbs 31:13) Although God can, you cannot fix her weaknesses, or transform her behavior. Thus, there’s no time to waste, dump her gently and, look for the woman that you can say: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” (Proverbs 31:25) Sign No. 5. She drags a heavy chain of past mistakes. Her choices of yesterday brought consequences that are painful still. But her inability to make good decisions remains alive. She justifies her wrong choices. And when you challenge them, she becomes defensive. Should this relationship continue, the spiritual leader God meant you to be will be relegated to her demands, lack of wisdom and immature whims. Can you say this of the gal you’re with? “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:26) You shouldn’t be idle either, but diligent in asking for patience because, “It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows.” Proverbs 20:25 Vow instead to remain single until God has worked in you, pouring wisdom and carving out foolishness. And thus, preparing you to welcome the prudent wife He chose for you. Because… “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” (Proverbs 31:14) She will indeed be a present from God. That companion will be the gift who will vow to love you, rich or poor, in sickness and in health. Then you can be sure she was the one who was handpicked by God. And though not perfect, she’ll be prudent, passionately in love with God above all. And patiently accepting you, loving you just the way you are. And in the end, when children come, she’ll be the one to wipe spilled bowls of cereal with a heart of gratitude for her blessings.

Let’s pray

Heavenly Father, my life is in your hands, and my search for the perfect spouse is also in your care. Grant me wisdom not to be led by my emotions but by your divine wisdom. In Jesus name I ask, amen. Janet ______________________________________ Did you know I wrote a book filled with words of encouragement, uplifting thoughts and illustrations of real-life triumph to empower you? Its title, Trials of Today, Treasures for Tomorrow: Overcoming Adversities in Life. You can get it HERE. CLICK HERE for a one-minute inspirational video. Looking for a speaker for your upcoming event? A great speaker makes the difference between a so-so event and one that shines with impact. I invite you to view one of my two-minute videos HERE.   Source: https://janetperezeckles.com/blog/five-warning-signs-when-finding-the-right-woman.html    
Janet Eckles Perez
Some say she should be the last person to be dancing. Her life is summarized in this 3-minute video: http://bit.ly/1a8wGJR Janet Perez Eckles’ story of triumph is marked by her work as an international speaker, #1 best-selling author, radio host, personal success coach and master interpreter. Although blind since 31, her passion is to help you see the best of life. www.janetperezeckles.com

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Five signs the person you’re dating is not your future spouse

16 Feb

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

 

Some months ago, three college friends and I sat in a hotel lounge, chatting about our younger days. “What was I thinking? The signs were all there, telling me he was Mr. Wrong,” one of them said as she sipped her latte. “I didn’t see the red flags ‘cause I was too busy being in love with the idea of being loved.”

“Me too,” my other friend said. “Why didn’t someone write the book on how to find the man of your dreams?”

All four of us chuckled.

We graduated from the same college, lived in the same dorm. And, though none of us would admit that ever so secretly, , we shared a slight restlessness about finding the right man. We attended classes but in that college campus, the temptation to  study the male  population was alive. ,

And in the process, , the search was fun. But at times high expectations ended up in deep disappointment. And other times, the “love” we chased ended up with heartache chasing us instead.

But even with a few scars, we made it through. And now after visiting the ugliness of divorce, we possess a wealth of insight. Most of which comes from experiences lived, episodes endured and lessons learned in the classroom of pain.

How different our lives would have been if we, as single women, had the wisdom to seek God first, and heed these signs.

Sign No. 1: He allows his romance to turn into physical roaming.

And with soothing words, he attempts to invade the boundaries you clearly established more than once. Yet time and time again he insists, whispering he’ll love you forever hoping you’ll give in. Caution: that’s his testosterone talking, not a man of integrity who values and respects you. That’s when Satan goes into action repeating, “You’ll lose him if you don’t give in.” False. You’ll only lose your own integrity and gain the heartache that disobedience brings.

Time to assess: Should you fail in this area, God will forgive when you ask. He will grant you renewed clarity and peace. And with confidence, you can declare: “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.” (Psalm 66:17-18)

Sign No. 2: His sincerity is questionable.

When you speak of your Christian convictions, he agrees with you. When you invite him to visit your church, he goes along. But when you ask him to pray with you, he squirms. Or when discussing deeper issues regarding spirituality, he is ambiguous and distant. Warning: he might be going through the motions to win you over. This red flag needs to fly high reminding you he’s not the spiritual leader, the kind you need should marriage plans appear in the horizon.

Time to assess: Be true to God first and be sincere in your asking for His guidance to identify the strong spiritual leader with sound convictions and good character to be your future husband. Then confidently repeat, “Let me see your kindness to me in the morning, for I am trusting You. Show me where to walk, for my prayer is sincere.” (Psalm 143:8-10, The LB-Paraphrased)

Sign No. 3: Others are warning you.

You think he’s the one because he “makes you feel so good.” But those around you who know you well and whom you respect give you warnings. They point out flaws you overlook because you’re so much “in love” that you’ve become deaf to their wisdom.

Often feelings can be wrong. And emotions can blind one from seeing potential pitfalls.

Time to assess: Your own path to happiness might not be God’s way to bring you lasting joy. Reflect on the advice given, and no matter how well-defined your plans are, welcome wise counsel from those who love you because “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” (Proverbs 15:22)

Sign No. 4: Criticism becomes a pattern.

Sometimes you might mistake humility and patience when he is free with harsh criticism toward you and others. But when experiencing this during dating, it might be a sign of potential emotional abuse only to increase after that wedding day.

Time to assess: Because you are the daughter of the King, you mustn’t endure painful words, insensitive treatment or even rudeness. Expect to be treated with upmost respect because you know who you are—the masterpiece in God’s hands as you declare: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:14)

Sign No. 5: He’s in the red.

Although money or finances are not the No. 1 aspect of a relationship, it is the No. 1 reason for divorce. And if marriage is a possibility with the man you’re dating, observe his attitude toward money, his spending habits and his commitment to tithe. Each will give you clues on what to expect should you become his wife. If he’s a creature that flings credit cards at every turn, that’s your clue to dig a little deeper. Otherwise, entering into marriage with debt, money issues and financial troubles will surely have you walking down the aisle toward the altar of disaster.

Time to assess: What does he treasure? What is he storing in his heart? This is the standard by which you must measure him: “… store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:20)

Whether you’re 20 or 60 years old, or whether it’s your first date or you’re about to send out wedding invitations, bring your girlfriend with you. Her name is “wisdom.” God’s wisdom will help you answer these two vital questions: Does this man love God more than he loves me? And do his words, actions, attitude, demeanor, dreams and character reflect this conviction?

The answer to these questions will determine whether decades later you’ll be drinking the latte of regret or sipping the fresh water of true happiness.

(The above writing by Janet Perez Eckles was first published by Crosswalk.com)

Let’s Pray

Father, show me the path you need me to take, grant me wisdom to recognize Your guidance and Your plans. In Jesus name. Amen.

What is God showing you during your  current relationship?

Janet

______________________________________

Did you know I wrote a book filled with words of encouragement, uplifting thoughts and illustrations of real-life triumph to empower you? Its title, Trials of Today, Treasures for Tomorrow: Overcoming Adversities in Life. You can get it HERE.

CLICK HERE for a one-minute inspirational video.

Looking for a speaker for your upcoming event? A great speaker makes the difference between a so-so event and one that shines with impact. I invite you to view one of my two-minute videos HERE.

Please share: Feel free to share Janet’s posts with your friends.

Source: https://janetperezeckles.com/blog/five-signs-the-person-youre-dating-is-not-your-future-spouse.html

 

 

 

Janet Eckles Perez

Some say she should be the last person to be dancing. Her life is summarized in this 3-minute video: http://bit.ly/1a8wGJR

Janet Perez Eckles’ story of triumph is marked by her work as an international speaker, #1 best-selling author, radio host, personal success coach and master interpreter. Although blind since 31, her passion is to help you see the best of life.

www.janetperezeckles.com

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A Knocking Around Day

31 Jan

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

 

Tuesday my husband and I took a day trip. The original plan was for my husband to go alone as he was planning to visit a “toy store” that I had no interest in and he didn’t want to feel hurried if I were waiting on him.  I was happy to have a day alone to accomplish some projects of my own.

Tuesday morning he must have begun to regret his decision to go alone as he started asking me if I wanted to go with him. After some back and forth (You know what I am talking about…Do you want to go, do you want me to go…blah, blah) Finally I said “Just say what you are thinking, not what you think I want to hear.” Grrr!

Turned out he wanted me to go and didn’t want me to go. (Surprised?)  He wanted me to go because he was hoping to visit a surplus store and wasn’t sure he could find it on his own. (I KNEW there was a reason for him changing his mind. Ha!)

We hit the road, driving north with Ormond Beach as our ultimate goal.

 

 

Since he had sold this adventure as a “knocking around” kind of day, I took my camera. Unfortunately I didn’t find any photo opportunities but I kept my eyes open for interesting shopping opportunities.

 

 

In Daytona I spotted a Sears Outlet center as we drove past it.  Husband asked if I wanted to go back and of course, I said yes. That is what you do when you are knocking around. The store was very meh. But at least we had checked it out. The surplus store was a miss as it was no longer in business.

I was impressed when we arrived at his toy store. It was larger than I had imagined. It’s previous location had been rather small. I had planned to wait in the car and listen to a book but needed a bathroom break. As we walked in I spotted a sitting area with soft couches and chairs, much like major outdoor stores have. Perfect! I told him to shop to his heart’s content. I was listening to a library book that would be whisked off of my phone in 15 hours and I wanted to finish it.

As I sat there, I noted how many nice looking men came through the doors. I sent a text to my single daughter with a Gif of “It’s raining men.” My husband finished looking around sooner than I expected. He did more than look as he had a shopping bag in his hand. When we were back in the car, he couldn’t wait to show his purchase to me and I did the appropriate ooohs and aaaahs. I was glad he found what he had been looking for and at a good price.

It was a good day We had lunch at Steak n Shake. Back in the previous century when we were dating, cruising through “Steak” in your hot car was the thing. Now days we’re more into the milk shakes. Except we didn’t have half price shakes because we are now eating a low carb diet. I felt very virtuous. LOL. I’m glad I went with him. It’s nice to knock around together, just the two of us. With the visit to Steak n Shake it was almost like dating again.

 

 

 

I almost forgot, here is the video I created for this past Sunday’s message. I am in love with vintage graphics. I don’t think the photo with the cross was photoshopped. The photographer mentioned it was a long shutter and luck with positioning.

 

 

 

 

 

I'm a winnerAfter my retirement, I decided to re-learn the canning and preserving skills I learned from my mother but hadn’t practiced for twenty years. I titled the blog Old Things R New to chronicle my experience.  Since then I have been blessed to have six other bloggers join me, DiVoran Lites, Bill Lites,  Judy Wills, Louise Gibson, Janet Perez Eckles and Melody Hendrix

In addition to blogging, I work as the publicist/marketer/ amateur editor and general  “mom Friday” for my author daughter, Rebekah Lyn. I also manage her website, Rebekah Lyn Books  where we frequently host the best in up and coming authors.

My 2019 goal is to use my love of photographs and words to be an encourager on social media. You can visit Real Life Books and Media You Tube Channel if you would like to view some of the mini-videos I have created for our church, Gateway Community in Titusville, Fl.

 

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Side by Side

28 Jan

My Take

DiVoran Lites

 

 

“Oh we ain’t got a barrel of money, maybe we’re ragged and funny,

but we travel the road sharing the load, side by side.”*

 

Bill and I have been married sixty-two years. Of course,we’ve had bad times, mad times, and glad times. But we are in the happiest part of our lives still traveling the road and sharing our load.

The road, however, is a bit rocky while we wait for Bill to get his shoulder replacement surgery. When he gets it, it will be the best shoulder replacement the world has ever known, but getting to it is an uphill battle.

The patient has already had four shoulder surgeries, but this is the big one, the titanium one where he’ll be able to put his shirt on himself and take out the trash as he used to do. Meanwhile, Bill has been in a great deal of pain and been unable to sleep.

I asked him not to do that scary pain-breathing sound that makes my blood pressure go up. He tried, but one night he was so stalled that we were both awake for hours. Finally, around 3 a. m. we had some cookies and herb tea and were able to go back to sleep. The next day we made a trip to the emergency room at Advent in Orlando 35 miles away because the hospital here isn’t aware of Bill’s issues. The whole trip took seven hours, but at the end of it, we had our dope and Bill’s pain had decreased. That lasted for about a week, but then we got close to running out and made the Big City drive again. The third time we went we had an appointment with the doctor and for a number of excellent reasons he refused to give us any more oxycodone or Percocet. Suddenly we were desperate.

The only thing the doctor could recommend was a pain clinic. We asked our rehab guy (from last year’s surgery) to recommend one in town but he couldn’t. We might have gone to another town, but when I talked to a friend (who works in the medical field) she told me about an operating room nurse we know who could die if she takes opioids. As it happens the nurse came to a place where she needed an operation on her shoulder. Finally, she found a way to use essential oils to make a “Morphine Bomb.” No opiates and no side effects. We called her, and she helped us make this amazing natural pain reliever. Now, all we have to do is wait a week or so for the surgery.

We are ready, but the doctor has a ways to go. He is a world-famous inventor of parts for joints. We did all the tests except the last one which has to wait. We were not afraid of the surgery but looking forward to the ownership of a brand new shoulder. We have, however, waited for one month already and have another month to go. The reason forthe hold-up is reasonable. I wish I could explain it better, but first,the doctor needs the best CT scan available. He has one now. He will make a 3-D model and if all is perfect he’ll get the parts put together. If it is not perfect we could wait another four weeks for a CT scan and the building of a custom implant.

At least Bill can drive now that he’s off the dope. We got a hospital bed in order to relieve the pressure on his shoulders (the other one hurts too).

So here we are side by side not only in waiting and pain, not only for surgery and rehab…but forever. The Bible says there is no marriage in heaven, but somehow I know that when we get there we will experience more love and oneness with others and in Christ than we can imagine our Christian spouses among them.

 

It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Msg.

 

 

*“Side by Side,” Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis

 

 

 

 

 

Author, Poet and Artist
DiVoran has been writing for most of her life. Her first attempt at a story was when she was seven years old and her mother got a new typewriter. DiVoran got to use it and when her dad saw her writing he asked what she was writing about. DiVoran answered that she was writing the story of her life. Her dad’s only comment was, “Well, it’s going to be a very short story.” After most of a lifetime of writing and helping other writers, DiVoran finally launched her own dream which was to write a novel of her own. She now has her Florida Springs trilogy and her novel, a Christian Western Romance, Go West available on Amazon. When speaking about her road to publication, she gives thanks to the Lord for all the people who helped her grow and learn.  She says, “I could never have done it by myself, but when I got going everything fell beautifully into place, and I was glad I had started on my dream.”

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Faster Weeks, Slower Me

19 May

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

I'm a winner

I mistakenly believed that once I retired life would slow down and weeks would not fly by faster than a comet. It seems the only slowing down that has occurred is me. Maybe since it takes me longer to accomplish tasks, that is why it feels that weeks are zooming along.

On Monday the husband and I went to work on the slide area in our yard. The  county Soil and Water department suggested we replant the area with tall Fescue grass. We decided to fertilize, amend with lime and re-seed the entire yard. My husband used the garden tiller to break up the grassed areas that had become particularly bare and hard. After that we put out lime, then fertilizer and seed. My job was to gently rake the tilled area to spread some soil over the seeds. We have no idea if that is what one does when seeding clay soil. Growing grass in Florida is totally different. Finally we spread wheat straw and watered everything. I am NOT a fan of yard work, but the day was beautiful with a gentle cool breeze and I enjoyed it.

Tuesday was an interesting day. The charging port on my husband’s phone stopped working and my do-it-yourself man decided he could change it out. He is pretty sharp at fixing things but this one almost defeated him. Ten tiny screws had to be removed to change the port. No problem, Spilling the screws and losing one, now that is a problem. After an hour of searching, he put the phone together without the screw. It powered up and he was able to place a call. Yea! Except he could not hear me talking to him. So, tear the phone apart again. The missing screw had not appeared but being a problem solving kind of guy, he remembered that his old phone was the same brand as his current one. He pirated the old one for a replacement screw, put the phone back together and now it charges and has sound. Problem solved.

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: Missing screw found! We are cleaning house for company and removed rug and furniture from the room of the lost screw. Handy husband pushed all the debris into a pile and used his flashlight to illuminate the screw. Now to save it or not to save it.

Wednesday started off well. We had breakfast with friends then spent the rest of the morning running errands. Somewhere along the way, my energy drained away and my mood slipped lower than the thermometer on a Ontario winter day. I decided to hibernate.

After a good night’s sleep and some motivational musing, today is looking up. I am not the center of the universe. That job belongs to someone far above me. My job is to keep looking up.

Cherry Blossoms on tree.

 

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Ten tips to make your marriage sizzle with love.

13 Feb

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

Janet Eckles Perez

 

When I was 23 and said “I do” to my hubby; I had no clue what I was saying. When I committed to love him no matter what, I didn’t expect my selfish ways to be a problem. And when I vowed to cherish him, sometimes I asked myself what in the world that meant.

Then something happened. Something that shook me, slapped my senses and that’s when our relationship began to glow.

All began when……adversity visited our marriage. Blame flew all over our arguments, hardships threatened to divide us, and heartache zapped our romance.

Then God intervened. We both turned to him. Admitting our frailty and foolishness, we placed it all before Him. With desperate hearts, we both looked up at Him, His instructions, His guidance, and His wisdom. Then with His brush of love, He painted strokes of restoration, healing, and strength.

And when we recently celebrated our 40th anniversary, I reflected on what keeps us in love, cherishing each other and expecting another 40 years.

Here are the 10 tips to make your marriage glow no matter what you’re facing:

  1. Forgive the small stuff, talk about the big stuff, and forgive that, too.
  2. As often as possible, bring to mind your spouse’s strengths.
  3. Praise your spouse before others. A compliment in private is encouraging. Praise before others is transforming.
  4. Never try to change your spouse. Find what needs to change in you instead.
  5. Make memories by planning moments together.
  6. Surprise each other with a kind gesture.
  7. Write your feelings of love rather than just saying them.
  8. Physical contact is good for the heart. Make sure to give a hug, a loving tap, a squeeze of the arm, a peck, etc. Do this at least eight times a day (proven to be a powerful habit that keeps blood pressure down).
  9. When discussing difficult concerns, avoid blame; instead express how you feel inside.
  10. Express gratitude often, and even for little things.

A marriage is a sailboat; we are in control of the sail, determining where it goes.

i-love-you

Be sure to visit Janet’s blog to read more: Ten tips to make your marriage sizzle with love. | Janet Perez Eckles

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