A Time To Be Alone

5 May


My Take

DiVoran Lites

Bill got to the airport by 6:00 a. m. We talked all the way there so the forty-five minute trip went quickly. I have been encouraging his sixteen-day trip because I want him to feel free to do what he wants to do, just as he encourages me. But on the way, I let him know that I wished he wouldn’t go for so long. He said he wouldn’t always; he thought about ten days would be good in future. I think so too, though I must admit I am looking forward to being alone, but not alone during this time.

Being seventy-five and seventy-six, and having been married fifty-six years—being first-born perfectionist, control-freaks requires a lot of discussion, and a great deal of give and take. Brush fires flare, but are soon snuffed out by love and forgiveness. Above all we know how blessed we are to have had each other and our family for all these years without any major disasters. But still…we’re both independent and we both like things to go our way. It’s the little things.

After I got home I spent time with my journal, reheated the coffee I took along, had an egg and toast and went back to bed for an hour. The first thing I did when I got up was to take all Bill’s pills off the dining room table and put them in his room out of my way. I set up my book prop and a couple of books as a reading station for meals, moved the large rug in the studio to a spot I like, and started a new shopping list. Some things I want to buy myself but he’s so efficient at taking the list and going to the store that I find them delivered before I even go out. What I want right now and have been wanting for a long time is a new kitty litter scoop, chosen by me. See what I mean about it being the little things?

I had to laugh when I sat down at the computer. There are a few things that bug Bill no end, so he left me this:

DiVoran—Please use this checklist while I am gone-Thanks.

  1. Lock all doors at bedtime.
  2. Lock all doors when you go for your walk.
  3. Turn off the water after you water your plants &flowers.
  4. Make sure refrigerator door is closed before you go to bed at night.
  5. Take out the trash on Friday mornings-No recycle until I get back.
  6. Turn off coffee-tea makers & cup warmers before bedtime. (I guess that means I’m allowed to forget and leave them on all day.)

Love ya,


So for two whole weeks now we are free. He will drive, drive, drive in the deserts and mountains of the Southwest and I will write, write, write in my comfortable house that I love.

Ecclesiastes three is a popular chapter and I use it a lot. I believe there is a time for everything. I like it that in our marriage there is a time to be together and a time to be alone. I’m glad also that there is more time together than alone and that we still have each other after all these years.

1 wedding


3 Responses to “A Time To Be Alone”

  1. itsrebekahlyn May 5, 2014 at 6:52 pm #

    I love that you guys are confident enough to pursue your individual interests. I think it was sweet that he left you a note too. Call me if you get lonely 🙂


  2. Old Things R New May 5, 2014 at 12:52 pm #

    I like how you and Bill solved your travel differences by respecting each others choice. You both use the time to refresh and renew.


  3. Louise Gib son May 5, 2014 at 8:31 am #

    How refreshingly candid, DiVoran. I completely understand. It is healthy to have separations (short ones, that is. We had too many l-o-n-g ones while serving in the Air Force),


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