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Ten tips to make your marriage sizzle with love.

13 Feb

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

Janet Eckles Perez

 

When I was 23 and said “I do” to my hubby; I had no clue what I was saying. When I committed to love him no matter what, I didn’t expect my selfish ways to be a problem. And when I vowed to cherish him, sometimes I asked myself what in the world that meant.

Then something happened. Something that shook me, slapped my senses and that’s when our relationship began to glow.

All began when……adversity visited our marriage. Blame flew all over our arguments, hardships threatened to divide us, and heartache zapped our romance.

Then God intervened. We both turned to him. Admitting our frailty and foolishness, we placed it all before Him. With desperate hearts, we both looked up at Him, His instructions, His guidance, and His wisdom. Then with His brush of love, He painted strokes of restoration, healing, and strength.

And when we recently celebrated our 40th anniversary, I reflected on what keeps us in love, cherishing each other and expecting another 40 years.

Here are the 10 tips to make your marriage glow no matter what you’re facing:

  1. Forgive the small stuff, talk about the big stuff, and forgive that, too.
  2. As often as possible, bring to mind your spouse’s strengths.
  3. Praise your spouse before others. A compliment in private is encouraging. Praise before others is transforming.
  4. Never try to change your spouse. Find what needs to change in you instead.
  5. Make memories by planning moments together.
  6. Surprise each other with a kind gesture.
  7. Write your feelings of love rather than just saying them.
  8. Physical contact is good for the heart. Make sure to give a hug, a loving tap, a squeeze of the arm, a peck, etc. Do this at least eight times a day (proven to be a powerful habit that keeps blood pressure down).
  9. When discussing difficult concerns, avoid blame; instead express how you feel inside.
  10. Express gratitude often, and even for little things.

A marriage is a sailboat; we are in control of the sail, determining where it goes.

i-love-you

Be sure to visit Janet’s blog to read more: Ten tips to make your marriage sizzle with love. | Janet Perez Eckles

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Five promises to erase loneliness

6 Feb

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

Janet Eckles Perez

 

I zipped my suitcase shut. And my 4’10”, white-haired Mom walked in. “I worry about you traveling alone,” she said. “Someone will be staying with you in the hotel, right?”

I imagine having her blind daughter travel to another country by herself concerns her.

“Sure,” I reassure her to erase worry because after all, traveling to speaking engagements is one of the passions I have.

Although I’ll have no human accompany me, I’ll have someone better—the Holy Spirit.

Think I’m kidding? God’s way to make sure we’re never alone and know how to conquer loneliness is true.

How else can I, being blind, navigate through hotel rooms, unpack, find the bathroom, get ready and sing with confidence while doing it?

I admit. Sometimes, temptation to feel lonely tries to slip in. But I have found five ways to conquer it:

  1. In the hotel room of loneliness, the Holy Spirit is the concierge to meet all our needs.

  2. His presence is certain.

  3. His protection is constant.

  4. His companionship is sweet

  5. His comfort is forever.

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever, the Spirit of truth” (John 14:16).

Father, sometimes even when surrounded with people, the loneliness is cruel. But thank you for filling the void. For bringing reassurance to every moment. For whispering protection and provision. Thank you for sending your Holy Spirit, for we know you’re present now, and you’ll be present in the happenings of our tomorrows. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Be sure to visit Janet’s website to read the rest of the blog.  Five promises to erase loneliness. | Janet Perez Eckles

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Five pitfalls to avoid when looking for happiness. | Janet Perez Eckles

16 Jan

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

His Way

 

“I know the guy is not the right one for her,” my friend said some years back. “But as long as she’s happy.”

Her daughter married him and shortly after, it ended in a painful and bitter divorce.

Is wishing happiness what we want for our kids? Happiness is often confused with joy. Happiness can turn to sadness. And looking for it leaves us disappointed.

Here are five pitfalls to avoid when looking for happiness:

  • Looking for it in relationships. Happiness cannot be found in another person, for they’re looking for their own path to happiness.
  • Longing to be happy by pleasing others rather than pleasing God first
  • .Expecting circumstances to make us happy, for they change as quickly as the weather.
  • Waiting for someone to change before we feel happy.
  • Expecting that happiness will last and bring fulfillment

.Happiness is fleeting, often elusive and deceptive. Joy is what the soul longs for. Peace is what our heart needs. Wisdom is what brings the greatest rewards. And contentment is what ushers the richness of life.

That richness is found in complete joy, the kind that’s already in us when we believe: “As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Now remain in My love. If you obey My commands, you will remain in My love, just as I have obeyed My Father’s commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” (John 15:9-11)

His joy can’t be taken away by circumstances, stages of life, unexpected turns or even tragic events. When happiness wanes, His joy in us remains vibrant. What will you do with your new-found joy?

Janet

Source: Five pitfalls to avoid when looking for happiness. | Janet Perez Eckles

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Three steps to protect ourselves against crime. | Janet Perez Eckles

9 Jan

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

Janet Eckles Perez

What a shock to learn that my sweet, soft-spoken friend had been a guard at a women’s prison. The job was rough, the demands stringent, and the circumstances often mirrored a nightmare. But armed with her gun, a sense of security must have eased her tension.

Her instructions were to shoot, no reservations, no hesitation…just fire should she see any inmate display even a slight attempt to escape.

She learned how. She was trained. She had practiced. But when the time came to do it…she froze. That’s when reality struck; she lacked the guts to pull that trigger. Her days as a prison guard came to an end.

And now, as a Christian, she teaches another self-defense method. She carries in her heart a better, more powerful weapon to guard against all evil—physical or spiritual. She holds on to Christ, and clings to His power great enough to stop the thieves who threaten to rob the peace and security.

And we can too, here are three steps to protect ourselves:

Read the rest on Janet’s blog:  Three steps to protect ourselves against crime. | Janet Perez Eckles

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Joy happens anyway. | Janet Perez Eckles

19 Dec

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Peres Eckles

Janet Eckles Perez

 

Christmas didn’t call for a celebration. Not anymore. Not when you have a vital part of your life missing. It’s been twelve years since we lost our son Joe. Festivities don’t seem to have the joy they should. And Christmas trees don’t emanate the usual scent.

Actually, my days needed to erase Christmas, the birthdays, the holidays—all ushered pain rather than delight. They reminded me of what I once had and now what was gone. The world celebrated, greetings of good wishes filled the room. But when tragedy turns your world upside down, no amount of cheer can bring clarity to the fog of sadness.

Strange, though. Often, it’s the scorching pain that forces our eyes to open to a bigger picture. It did for me as I rewound memories of past Christmases.

Years ago, when our three sons, including Joe, were still young, I focused on providing a perfect Christmas, a perfect tree to wrap a perfect celebration. As a result, little things tended to roil in me such as a light strand that refused to shine because of a burned out bulb. Annoyed at the glitch, I promptly set off to resolve it —I fussed, I rearranged, plugged and unplugged until frustration grew hot in me. How foolish and silly. I focused on that one bulb, dismissing the glow of the star atop the Christmas tree.

I’ve done the same with light bulbs that burned in my life—from broken relationships to shattered plans. Exerting tons of energy trying to fix them, I missed Christ, the newborn King—the star that gave significance to my life. The star that covers shadows of gloom and sorrow.

Joe’s memories changed—his sweet smile, his tender hugs and his sense of humor now sit atop of my life, casting off that glow to bring back the joy. To remind me that he’s not gone, not from my heart, not from my mind. Also not gone are the images of his spunky self.

When that void in our heart aches to be filled, it’s Christ’s star of comfort that makes it whole. When bitter sorrow robs the spirit of Christmas, it’s the star of His everlasting love that whispers joy. When a health diagnosis shakes our world, it’s His star of reassurance that shines the certainty of new tomorrows. When the economy robs our security, it’s the star of God’s provision that ushers the radiance of reassurance. It’s the same star that never loses the brilliance of hope, incomprehensible hope, one we can safely embrace even when all strands of life burn out.

Janet

Visit Janet’s website to read more. : Joy happens anyway. | Janet Perez Eckles

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Anticipating heaven. | Janet Perez Eckles

12 Dec

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

Janet Eckles Perez

 

Once in a lifetime you meet somebody that prompts you to say, “I want to be just like her.” Let me tell you about Karen. Like millions, she has faced cancer, but hers is a rare type;., the survival rate is alarmingly small. Yet, for years, she has defied all odds and survived its claim on her health. But Karen hasn’t just survived; she is living her days to the fullest. Though years of treatment have zapped her energy, she keeps going, again, defying all odds, baffling all doctors.

But Karen has another secret: she has no fear of death. She knows Christ. She knows heaven awaits her. And certain of her eternity, her courage can fill her hospice room. Karen displays the confidence few possess. She has even taken her husband shopping for the suit he will wear at her funeral.

Like many of us have chosen the centerpiece for the table at our wedding reception, Karen has chosen her tombstone which you see in this picture. (click link below to visit Janet’s blog) Could it be that Karen was put on this earth to fulfill God’s unique plan and also to teach the rest of us that death cannot bring about fear? Death of the physical body is the doorway to life eternal, the beginning of the perfect life, and the anticipation of glorious living.

As of this writing, Karen has been told it’s only a very short time before she faces Jesus. But she holds to her faith. She has all plans in place.

She has prepared her family. And in doing so, perhaps she prepares us to see her example, so that we, someday like Karen, will declare the words of Paul: “Where, O death is your victory? Where, O death is your sting?” “…

Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Corinthians 16:55 and 57) Has Christ who lives in you also erased the sting of death?

Read more:  Anticipating heaven. | Janet Perez Eckles

 

I’m working on a new book. And this time, a hot topic will fill its pages:

• What does God say about immigration?

• Does His law contradict man’s law?

• Is deception justified when facing desperation?

The answers will be in the book…and as always, I’m in prayer for wisdom and God’s favor.

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That’s not fair. | Janet Perez Eckles

14 Nov

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

Janet Eckles Perez

That’s not fair! With wrinkled tissue in hand, we stomp our feet in frustration. We had asked, prayed and pleaded. But, to our utter disappointment, God still said “No.”

Have you been there? God didn’t smile at us with the answer we wanted. But that’ not the worst. We look around and what do we see? We see those who don’t follow God’s instructions, don’t know God’s Word, and don’t even attend church. But, they seemingly live happy, trouble-free lives.

“What’s with that, God?” we want to ask.

Confusion adds to the unfairness. But not to worry. We don’t have to know how to express that bewilderment. David did that for us: “I almost lost my footing. My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone. For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness. They seem to live such painless lives; their bodies are so healthy and strong. They don’t have troubles like other people; they’re not plagued with problems like everyone else. They wear pride like a jeweled necklace and clothe themselves with cruelty. These fat cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for!” (Psalm 73:2-7 The Message).

Like David, I don’t let up my rant. This is not the way it should be. Why do they have it so good? Lord, after all, I’m not a bad chica. I really deserve better. But “Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant—I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever” (Psalm 73:21-26).

 

Read more : That’s not fair. | Janet Perez Eckles

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Do you need a speaker for your next event?

24 Oct

I received an email from Janet this week about her ministry and she sweetly asked if I would pass it on.  Since this blog has a larger reach than my email list, I felt impressed to share it here. Janet has experienced great sorrow and shares a message of hope and joy and I love having her as part of the Old Things R New blogger family~ Onisha

Old Things R New Family

Left to right. Judy, DiVoran, Bill, Onisha, Lynn (web genius) Louise and Janet

Among the tears we shed, the dark moments we face, and the evil that is gaining ground, God’s call to you and to me to be His vessels is persistent. But how can we become more effective vessels when many, including some in
our own churches, are overwhelmed by burdens, overcome by fear, and live with worry?

May I ask you, with a prayer-filled heart, to please take a few minutes and consider forwarding this message to your pastor or women’s ministry director?

With hundreds of speakers to choose for your 2016 events, the task is arduous, yet showing those who attend your events how to overcome adversity and guide them to the path to God’s victory is more urgent than ever.

I’m grateful for Thelma Well’s words about my presentations and biblical teaching on living a victorious life:

Janet,

It is obvious in your speaking that your heart is pure and your spirit is content which gives the listener a sense of your authenticity. You leave the listener with hope, inspiration, and encouragement so that, through faith and trust in God, they can make it through any circumstance. I appreciate what you do for the Kingdom of God.”

As you know, my physical blindness allowed me to see God’s grace. The episodes that were even more devastating in my life allowed me the blessing to teach many about Gods power to restore.

Here is a 2-minute video sample of my message.

The battle against evil is fierce; I invite you to join me in answering God’s urgent call to defeat the forces of darkness in the name of Jesus and thus, equip believers to live victoriously.

As you pray about speakers for your 2016 events, should God prompt you to contact me, I’m at your service.
407.855.1565
Janet@janetperezeckles.com
In His grace,

Janet Perez Eckles,
International Author & Speaker
igniting in you a passion to overcome.
Two-minute video sample.
Making a difference with you, one-minute video.
www.janetperezeckles.com
JC Empowerment

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How to find peace; three easy steps… | Janet Perez Eckles

19 Sep

http://www.en.wikipedia.org I was 29 years old and while my three small sons played in the basement, I sat on the bed, folding laundry. I had a box of tissues beside me as tears flowed. I had just heard news from the ophthalmologist that there was no cure for the retinal disease that was robbing my sight way too fast. I could still see bits and pieces, but blindness was inevitable. Fighting the gloomy thoughts, the 700 Club played on the TV. The host offered prayers if we dialed an 800 number. I called. And as my voice choked, I spoke to a kind lady who prayed for me. Back then when I made that phone call, I didn’t know that God’s plans were in the making. He healed my attitude, gave me 20/20 spiritual sight, handed me a ministry, and gave me opportunities to write books and so much more. And the other day, gratitude overflowed in me as I realized that my guest appearance in the 700 Club had gone full circle. I reached out to them for prayer back then. And nearly 30 years later, God has me featured on that show for my story to inspire others. God has the very same for you, too. You might have a tissue box beside you. Maybe life is turning dark and hope seems to be at the bottom of the laundry basket of life—hard to see. Here are three simple steps found In Jeremiah 29:11 to bring back peace:

Source: How to find peace; three easy steps… | Janet Perez Eckles

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What to do when standing before the judge. | Janet Perez Eckles

12 Sep

My hands were sweaty, my heartbeat fast and I sat stiff on that courtroom chair nearly two decades ago. My first days as a court interpreter were grueling. They were brutal and the stress almost defeated me. “Mrs. Eckles, approach the bench,” the judge said during one of the sessions. I froze, swallowed hard and headed toward him. I trembled. Judges judge you, exert punishment, and sometimes might even dictate your destiny. To my shock, rather than reprimand, his words were ones of affirmation and praise about my job as an interpreter. They didn’t hold condemnation or harshness. I hope you don’t do what I did when approaching God’s divine bench. When Christ lives in us, His words ring different than what we expect. Rather than scolding, He gives reassurance. Rather than punishment, He extends mercy. Rather than condemnation, He gives us forgiveness. While the world becomes a grueling place to live, He gives His word to speak to our soul:

Source: What to do when standing before the judge. | Janet Perez Eckles

 

 

What’s Been Happening

There was a loud buzz on a recent Monday afternoon in the lobby of the Marriott Hotel in Orlando. About 1,500 attendees were exiting with suitcase in hand and expectations in their heart. The John Maxwell speaker/coaching training just ended. And His team, no doubt, equipped these folks with knowledge, strategies, information, methods, and tons of inspiration.

Way, way inside of me is a burning desire to attend such training. And when I asked God about that, He said, “In my timing and in my way.”

Don’t you just love it when God gives you the answer? Sometimes He says “no,” sometimes He says, “yes,” and sometimes He says, “not yet.”

So my challenge to you is to ask you: what do you do while you wait for His answer?

Here’s to the joy that fills your heart while in the waiting room of faith.

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