Do You Measure Up?

27 Mar

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

I'm a winner

Do you ever have the feeling in your life that you never measure up? I do.  I feel it when I realize I am trying to meet someone else’s expectations, their standard.

Early in my life, beginning around age six, I learned I was a failure. My attempts in first grade art were dismal. I couldn’t even color in the lines. As a teen I was socially awkward. My clothes were all wrong, my hair was too straight. I was shy. According to my older brother, I was the ugliest girl on the planet. As a teen, he told me that all his friends hated me.

As an adult, I began asking God, what do you want me to do, what is my purpose? The answer came, not in an earth shattering revelation, but in the form of an inexpensive Christmas gift, a Bible verse in a simple, inexpensive frame. My Ladies Sunday School teacher gave one to each of the women in the group, the verse chosen specifically for them.  Mine was: Micah 6:8

The Message version

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—take God seriously.

 I actually prefer the New International Version. It is shorter and speaks directly to my heart.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
    And what does the Lord require of you? 
To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly[prudently] with your God.

 What joy and peace this verse brings me. I don’t have to measure up to anyone else’s talents or standards! What about you, have you experienced failures because you tried to meet someone else’s expectations?

 

 

10 Responses to “Do You Measure Up?”

  1. Diane March 31, 2014 at 10:24 pm #

    Isn’t it sad how so many of us walk around with scars from our childhoods that leave us feeling that we don’t measure up? I thought I had healed mine until I started to explore the world of writing/drawing (at the age of 47) and was thrown right back into that adolescent angst of doubting myself. But one by one, I am laying each of those skeletons to rest (hopefully for good – smile). Unlike the confused adolescent me, I do know that my purpose on earth is to be the best me possible – and that has nothing to do with measuring up or comparing myself to anyone else. It just means being authentically me and trusting that I am enough.

    Like

    • Old Things R New April 1, 2014 at 9:58 pm #

      Even if a skeleton or two tries to resurrect, you will be able to dispose of them quickly You are firmly planted on your path. I admire your drawings.

      Thanks for stopping by.

      Like

  2. timelessitaly March 29, 2014 at 5:25 pm #

    I’ve experience the same rejection when I was young. In school, I got my height early and was the tallest in the class, even over the boys. The girls did not want to play with me because I was ‘too big.’ It hurt a lot, but now I love my height. Thank you for the scripture verse…God is very simple in his daily desires for us.

    Like

    • Old Things R New March 29, 2014 at 6:36 pm #

      I think all of us experience rejection as children. How I wish we could make our own children and grandchildren realize it is just a part of growing up and will pass. I was always too short.

      Like

  3. Louise Gib son March 27, 2014 at 6:18 pm #

    Every Friday is a challenge for me…to stimulate my gray matter to come up with a topic of interest to such a diversified audience. At 85 that is REALLY a challenge. It is refreshing to learn that everyone struggles, regardless of age to relate to our fellow man. That hunger is universal.

    Like

  4. ludyja March 27, 2014 at 3:47 pm #

    You have touched my heart…..Judy

    Like

    • Old Things R New March 27, 2014 at 7:55 pm #

      The positive side of my failures was discovering God who sees me as a precious loved one.

      Like

  5. Pam in Florida March 27, 2014 at 3:26 pm #

    You asked….”What about you, have you experienced failures because you tried to meet someone else’s expectations?” Of course! It might take awhile, but most of us hopefully will come to the conclusion that the expectations of others (and even myself) are sometimes too lofty, or too stressful to accomplish…no matter who it is we are trying to love, serve, support, or impress. I think that little jewel of an idea came to me one morning at 2 AM, as I was cleaning a bathroom before the cleaning woman came the next day!

    When I retired, I was asked what I was going “to do”, and I just said I was just hoping “to be”-for my family, for myself, for others, and for God-whatever that meant for me, I would have to ask Him to show me! With one eye on the future, I still thanked Him for all the expectations He helped me complete in the past, and to not feel guilty about the other efforts that sputtered and failed.

    I’m still learning about ‘measuring up”, and sometimes it’s my own measuring stick that is unrealistic, but I’m finding out “Abiding in Him, and Being in Him” suits me much better, and oh well, I’ve missed the mark before along the way, but tomorrow is a new day! Thanks for the great verse in your blog and the beautiful graphic. 🙂

    Like

    • Old Things R New March 27, 2014 at 7:50 pm #

      I enjoyed reading your comment, I was asked the same question about what I was going “to do” when I retired. I like your philosophy of Abidiing in Him.

      Thank you for stopping by. ❤

      Like

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