Archive by Author

How do I overcome grief?

29 Dec

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

 

How do I overcome grief?

 

 

Reblogged

December 29, 2018

I held on to my friend’s arm.

With wool scarfs around our neck, we shivered, trying to keep the cold wind that swept through the streets of the city that never sleeps. We weaved around people on crowded sidewalks. A strange symphony of sounds played—cars blowing their horns, music blaring from speakers by clubs and restaurants, and all around, people speaking in varied languages passed us by.

We finally reached her car. I settled in the passenger’s seat while she drove. “And we’re now crossing the bridge to another borough,” she said. “In New York, the five boroughs are divided by bridges.”

They divide wonderfully luxurious neighborhoods and also some sadly riddled by poverty.

How similar to those bridges in life.

They serve as passages transitioning the traveler from one point to another–from employment to unemployment, from health to a troubling diagnosis, from abundance to scarcity, from the security of a solid relationship to loneliness, from calmness to grief.

And the unpleasant journey continues even when Christmas comes around. While others rejoice and wish each other Merry Christmas, our wish is to have enough strength to keep crossing. Carrying the bag of hope, we shuffle forward on that bridge. And as we do, we have these choices: to trust or crumble. To move forward or retreat. To walk with confidence or with shaky steps. And to lament the long journey or enjoy each stage instead.

God invites us to choose the latter, to trust in Him, truly trust without looking around at the circumstance. And while crossing that bridge, for us to remove any trace of fear. He said:

“Fear not; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; yes, I will help you; yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness” (Isaiah 41:10).

And His yes should be a reassuring conformation that He is with us. That He will pave the way. And that He will make the bridge from grief to peace possible.

Let’s Pray

Father, I reach out to You to hold me steady. I lean on Your promise that You will strengthen me when my weakness shows and my despair rises. Help me to stay in course to reach the other side of this bridge. In Jesus’ name I ask, amen.

How do you interpret God’s yes when He promises He will help you?

Janet

______________________________________

Did you know I wrote a book filled with words of encouragement, uplifting thoughts and illustrations of real-life triumph to empower you? Its title, Trials of Today, Treasures for Tomorrow: Overcoming Adversities in Life. You can get it HERE.

CLICK HERE for a one-minute inspirational video.

Looking for a speaker for your upcoming event? A great speaker makes the difference between a so-so event and one that shines with impact. I invite you to view one of my two-minute videos HERE.

Please share: Feel free to share Janet’s posts with your friends.

 

Source https://janetperezeckles.com/blog/victory/how-do-i-overcome-grief.html

 

Janet Eckles Perez

Some say she should be the last person to be dancing. Her life is summarized in this 3-minute video: http://bit.ly/1a8wGJR

Janet Perez Eckles’ story of triumph is marked by her work as an international speaker, #1 best-selling author, radio host, personal success coach and master interpreter. Although blind since 31, her passion is to help you see the best of life.

www.janetperezeckles.com

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Christmas 2018

28 Dec

My friend, Pam has lived for 13 years without her much loved husband, Bill by her side. She shares her love and positive personality in her church WIdow’s ministry and also serves on the bereavement committee as a coordinator. When she emailed this to me, I was honored to be allowed to read her intimate thoughts. I asked permission to share it on our blog-Onisha

 

 

 

Christmas 2018

by Pam Gheen

I don’t normally write those Christmas letters that people place in their Christmas cards each year; mostly I don’t even get my Christmas cards out in the mail; maybe next year!

I especially don’t write or talk about the sad, deep things one may think about at Christmas.  I am a widow of 13 years, and I certainly should have moved on when it comes to “Christmas milestone sadness”. But……

But you know what? – our Christian journey, until we end it in Heaven, is alive and changing each day. Perfect healing for sadness comes daily if we need it!

“Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can’t heal”  Irish Poet-Thomas Moore

 

This Christmas, I deal with my emotions, as each one needs to do.

The house is quiet but my thoughts are not.  My fingers are itching to say something with words.

Think on this thought: God made us human and we feel feelings, we ponder the past, and we have empathy for others. Thank You God!  

I think of the little page that comes up on the computer, when I shop on-line, “I am not a Robot”! Check that little box on that little page and say you’re not-NOT made of hardness and steel, but made with a pliable, caring heart.

Maybe your normal tendency is to “shove down” and “ignore” the very attributes of our humanness, our “made in the image of God” capability to love, to embrace loss, and to reach out to others.  Some isolate, some want to become as busy as they can to forget and move on.

So how do you run away from the way God made you and me?  I’m thinking you can’t run fast enough; you turn around and face and embrace the “learning moment” from God.  

You may even find a quiet place in your home and light a candle in remembrance of the home-goings this past year of a loved one or friend. 

Or you may think of the ones in fragile health this Christmas, or those who have precarious relationships that still need to be healed.  You think of friends who say to you, “enjoy the time with your family; I have no one.”

You lift up your prayers and you wait in stillness.

Silence, communion and love is received in your heart and you know you are better; you turn TOWARDS the Father, to the WORD, Jesus, and to the COMFORTER, Holy Spirit.

“Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant”. 

Psalm 119:76 NLT

This Christmas, as in the last twenty-years, I am enjoying my youngest daughter and her family, here from California.  I am blessed in so many ways when they come “home” to family and friends.

This past Sunday, we all filed into a beautifully decorated sanctuary and took our seats in a comfy pew after greeting numerous friends with hugs.  As we sit there, I’m tapped on the shoulder from behind; there’s my friend who’s husband went home to the Lord a few months ago; she is sitting beside her daughter and family also.  “Good”, I think, “she has family with her.”

Another widow walks in and sits in front of me. She is my “new widow friend”, as I didn’t really know her until I helped with her celebration meal for her husband this past year.  She sits beside her loving sister and her husband.

The choir sings and leads us in uplifting songs, and then disperses themselves into the congregation to hear the message.  Another beautiful choir widow of three weeks slips into a pew; how is she strong enough to resume her place in the choir so quickly, I wonder. She hugs her friends and smiles through her tears.  Our close friends become our family even more when we need them.

By now, it is hard to think of anything else except of all the victory memorial services of the past year. My thoughts rush to two other friends I’ve know almost fifty years, who have said to their spouses, “goodbye, see ya later”, this year. They are making their way through the grief process and through one of the many “firsts” that come along during the year.

Finally, I think of my brother-in-law who is not seeing his only son this Christmas, and I pray for him, “God, comfort him in his sadness this Christmas.”

So today, after going through highs and lows, tears and hugs, I light my candle and I lift up my friends and family on Christmas Eve, the night of HOPE and RENEWAL and EMBRACEMENT of my very own “image of God’ . 

My fingers finish their clatter on the keyboard, my whole being asks God to fine-tune me into His loving image, and I wait…..wait for the Holy comfort and joy to fill-in the sad places in my heart, and help me overflow to others.  

I am “good again”, and move on, finding JOY in my sad thoughts, and HEALING in my communion with my Maker.

Signing off now….I need to make a few love phone calls before the day is done.

“You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in Your Presence.”  Acts 2:28 NIV

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Joyful Christmas

25 Dec

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

 

And the angel said unto them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people- Luke 2:10

 

 

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Finding joy has been my journey in 2018. I could not have followed this journey without the wonderful counselor, whispering courage and truth into my heart.

On behalf of my faithful friends, the blogging team of Old Things R New, we wishes each of our readers and friends a joyful and blessed Christmas.

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How to prepare for the best

22 Dec

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

 

How to prepare for the best.

 

Reblogged December 22, 2018

MY recent house guests were my brother and his wife. With their help, my house came alive with red and green decorations.

Time to Eat

Once we placed the angel on the tree top, I announced, “We’ll have a delicious, home-cooked dinner.”

“Sounds great,” they said.

But as dinner time got closer, there was no action in the kitchen. No pots, nor ingredients filled the kitchen countertop.

“Can I help you fix something?” my sister -in-law asked.

“Nope. All is under control.”

Their stomachs probably growled with hunger while there was no sign of any dinner preparation. But I knew something they didn’t—in a nearby kitchen, my friend, a wonderful caterer, wearing her apron, was busy taking casseroled dishes out of the oven, chopping, mixing sauces and artistically arranging desserts on a platter for us.

The doorbell rang.  My friend stood at the doorway with arms full. She got busy and served her delicious creations. The aroma filled the air as we quickly sat around the table, and before long, my guests oohed and ached with every scrumptious bite.

God is doing the same for us.

We wonder when He’s going to show up with the promise of His answers. When He is going to open the doors that were closed for so long.

We wait and wait with hearts hungry for His answer. For that loved one to come back. For a miracle to turn the situation around. For loneliness to leave. And for financial freedom to come.

Anxiety intensifies when we see others enjoying exactly what we hunger for.

Yet it’s in those very moments and during sleepless nights, while our mind plays the unwanted adversity over and over again, we can know that God is not idle, He’s busy. He’s working. He’s molding and preparing. The psalmist knew. And we should too. He said: “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” Psalm 23:5

The key word is “prepare.”

His preparation includes changing our thinking. Molding us possibly with the chiseled of hardship. Shaping us to receive what He prepared. Growing us in wisdom and polishing us to be the shining recipient of His goodness.

Knowing He’s at work, the waiting is bearable. The peace is real. The anticipation is sweet. And the waiting period changes…it becomes a period of joyous expectation instead.

Let’s Pray

Father, forgive my impatience. Grant me a heart of peaceful acceptance as I wait for the banquet You’re preparing for me. In Jesus name.

How is God preparing you these days?

Janet

______________________________________

Did you know I wrote a book filled with words of encouragement, uplifting thoughts and illustrations of real-life triumph to empower you? Its title, Trials of Today, Treasures for Tomorrow: Overcoming Adversities in Life. You can get it HERE.

CLICK HERE for a one-minute inspirational video.

Looking for a speaker for your upcoming event? A great speaker makes the difference between a so-so event and one that shines with impact. I invite you to view one of my two-minute videos HERE.

Please share: Feel free to share Janet’s posts with your friends.

 

Janet Eckles Perez

Some say she should be the last person to be dancing. Her life is summarized in this 3-minute video: http://bit.ly/1a8wGJR

Janet Perez Eckles’ story of triumph is marked by her work as an international speaker, #1 best-selling author, radio host, personal success coach and master interpreter. Although blind since 31, her passion is to help you see the best of life.

www.janetperezeckles.com

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Today I Will Choose The Softest Pillow

21 Dec

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

 

Submission to God’s divine will is the softest pillow on which to rest.

Streams in the Desert

 

 

Baking update The eggnog will mixed up yesterday is now being sipped as Rebekah and I watch the Gingerbread Christmas movie. One batch of cut out cookies is cooling and we have peppermint mocha ice cream chilling. #makingmemories

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Baking Love

20 Dec

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

 

 

 

Our daughter arrived from Florida yesterday to spend the holidays with us in North Carolina.  Like me, she enjoys the Christmas season when there is a nip to the air. I am thankful she chose Wednesday for her flight as Thursday’s weather in Florida would have made her flight iffy.

Rebekah and I enjoy baking together for Christmas but we weren’t able to do any while we were in Florida as the church event consumed our time and energy. While we were in Ashville yesterday, awaiting her flight, we stopped at Fresh Market to pick up some baking supplies. I fell in love with the store. Everything is arranged attractively and the produce section popped with color. More importantly, I was able to purchase some hard to find ingredients for our baking. My husband and I are 6 months into clean Keto living and looking forward to Christmas treats without the harmful ingredients.

I needed to pick up several quarts of heavy cream to be sure I had enough to make eggnog and a special Christmas coconut cake. I decided to pick the cream up at Aldi, since it was less expensive there. A lot of people must have had the same idea as Aldi was out of heavy cream!

Today we awoke to a steady and cold rain. I wasn’t thrilled about braving the weather to buy heavy cream but it turned out we needed several items so my husband agreed to drive us to the entrance of the stores and pick us up when we finished. Our daughter said it was like having a personal Uber.

While we were waiting and hoping the rain would stop, I decided to use the heavy cream on hand to mix up the eggnog. My mom would make eggnog at Christmas, but I always bought a quart at the grocery. The recipe called for freshly grated nutmeg. I had bought the nutmeg seeds in Ashville and I thought I knew what to do but when I took the seed out of the package, I was baffled. How does one grate a hard knot?  I decided it must have a shell on it and I did a web search for how to crack a nutmeg. Wikihow said I needed to smack it with a large knife. I got out a butcher knife and gave it a sharp smack. The nut skittered out from under the knife and shot across the counter. After a couple of attempts, I got serious. and pulled out the big gun.

 

This weapon got the job done! Split that nut in half. But then I couldn’t  figure out how to get the shell to separate from the meat. My husband, who is a You Tube enthusiast suggested I You Tube it. After watching three videos, including one that gave the history of nutmeg ( did you know that the discovery of nutmeg changed the world? You Tube said that so it must be true.) all they told me to do was use a fine grater. After walking up to the television screen and peering intently at the screen, I determined that my nutmegs were not in the shell! And it was quite easy to grate.  Fresh nutmeg has a wonderful aroma and I look forward to grating some on top of my eggnog tomorrow.

Rebekah, our daughter, mixed up a recipe for shortbread and put it in the fridge to chill. Tomorrow she will make cut out cookies. She is mach better at rolling out cookie dough. My husband said he was looking forward to having a treat to eat with his evening tea. Fortunately, the gingerbread bundt cake with lemon glaze we also made turned out well. We left molasses out of the recipe to decrease the carb count and weren’t sure how it would taste. It was delicious! I only had a small slice. So far no one is owning up to the large slice.

 

 

Friday is supposed to be another rain day. I haven’t decided what to bake but I am drooling over the recipe for peanut butter bundt cake with chocolate ganache. The recipe is in Keto Gatherings by Kristi Sullivan.

Baking with someone you love is one os the best parts of Christmas for me.

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His Name Will Be Called

18 Dec

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

 

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given: and the government will be upon His shoulder. 

 

 

These words never fail to thrill my soul. After reading them this morning my heart hungered for music to celebrate the Savior’s birth.  The music of Disney’s Candlelight Procession is one of my favorites. Often the choir is made up of high school students who practice during the year for this big event. Of late, I have begun to pray that this glorious good news will be planted into their hearts. The celebrity narrator for this one is Chris Pratt. I have to confess, I don’t know anything about his acting career.

 

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Five ways to face tragedy

15 Dec

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Janet Perez Eckles

 

Five ways to face tragedy.

 

Reblogged December 15, 2018

Tears flowed.

The eulogy for this young man evoked sobs that echoed throughout the room. When a young man dies unexpectedly, shock brings unspeakable sorrow.

He and my son Joe grew up together and remained close friends. My Joe has been in the glory of heaven since 2002, and now his close friend joins him to share in the unimaginable paradise.

They both played football, they both did mischievous things, they both had a contagious passion for life. And they both guaranteed their life eternal as they each invited Christ to be their Savior.

Although as I write this, they are both in heaven with joy overflowing, the family still on earth wonders what to do with the tragedy that barged in.

And that’s understandable. All crises rattle our senses. All unexpected heartache changes the course of life. But all crises don’t need to be tragedies.

Here are five insights that prevent crises from turning to tragedy.

  1. Triumph comes when we choose to be victors rather than victims.
  2. Blame gives power to pain.
  3. Resentment repeats the aching of the wound.
  4. Unforgiveness is the chain that keeps us bound.
  5. Forgiveness is the choice that sets us free.

I embraced these insights in 2002 when my youngest son was murdered. The act was senseless. The heartache deep. The change unbearable. But the freedom real.

The freedom that filled that first Christmas after losing our son came in a gift box called forgiveness.

My husband I made that decision.

What prompted us was an honest desire to obey God. This passage in Matthew 18 spoke to us personally:

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

The servant fell on his knees before him. “Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.” The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarius. He grabbed him and began to choke him. “Pay back what you owe me!” he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.”

But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. “Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.

Let’s Pray

Father, I need the wisdom to keep forgiving. To keep remembering what you first forgave in me. To keep receiving your grace to forgive the unforgivable. In Jesus’ name, amen

  • What wound or heartache have you suffered?
  • How will you resolve the pride that keeps you from forgiving?
  • Are you living in the freedom of forgiveness?

Janet

______________________________________

Did you know I wrote a book filled with words of encouragement, uplifting thoughts and illustrations of real-life triumph to empower you? Its title, Trials of Today, Treasures for Tomorrow: Overcoming Adversities in Life. You can get it HERE.

CLICK HERE for a one-minute inspirational video.

Looking for a speaker for your upcoming event? A great speaker makes the difference between a so-so event and one that shines with impact. I invite you to view one of my two-minute videos HERE.

Please share: Feel free to share Janet’s posts with your friends.

Source: https://janetperezeckles.com/blog/peace/five-ways-to-face-tragedy-2.html

En Español: https://janetperezeckles.com/blog-espanol/seis-secretos-para-la-paz-interior.html

 

 

Janet Eckles Perez

Some say she should be the last person to be dancing. Her life is summarized in this 3-minute video: http://bit.ly/1a8wGJR

Janet Perez Eckles’ story of triumph is marked by her work as an international speaker, #1 best-selling author, radio host, personal success coach and master interpreter. Although blind since 31, her passion is to help you see the best of life.

www.janetperezeckles.com

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Home Front – Wartime recipes (2)

14 Dec

I meant to reblog this Friday morning. It took me all day to finally realize today is Friday! I hope our readers enjoy this peek into the past as much as I did.

Pacific Paratrooper

From: The 1940’s Experiment .

We discussed rationing and we’ve discussed just how well our parents and grandparents ate – despite the rationing and time of war when all the “good” stuff was going overseas!  So …. as promised, here are some more of the wonderful recipes from the 1940’s.

Please thank Carolyn on her website for putting these delicious meals on-line!

Recipe 31:Farmhouse Scramble (version 1)

Recipe 32:Cottage Pie

Recipe 33: Potato and Cheese Bake

Recipe 34:Boeuf Bourguignon 1940s Rations Style

Recipe 35: Potato Floddies

Recipe 36:Bread and Apple Pudding

Recipe 37: Danish Apple Pudding

Recipe 38:Vegetable Stew

Recipe 39:Wartime Welsh Cakes

Recipe 40:Cold meat pasties

Recipe 41:Quick chocolate icing

Recipe 42:Potato Rarebit

Recipe 43: Mock Cream Recipe 2

Recipe 44: No Cook Chocolate Cake

Recipe 45:Mince Slices

Recipe 46:Marmite Mushrooms (a modern creation?)

Recipe 47: Eggless…

View original post 221 more words

Don’t Undervalue Your Value

13 Dec

On the Porch

Onisha Ellis

 

The whirlwind of activity I wrote about last week is over. The Christmas Tree Walk and Christmas Market was a success. The trees were beautifully decorated and some of them were purchased in the silent auction. The rest was given out to our community friends who come to our food pantry. Some of the decorations didn’t fare well as we moved them from the gym, but the trees themselves were fresh, fragrant and beautiful.

 

Last minute preparations began on Saturday with picking up 25 trees. We were met at the church by  strong guys who quickly unloaded them. Once the trees were unloaded it was non stop action to get these trees decorated. I had set out decorations that had been donated to be used on the trees that were sponsored but the sponsor did not choose to decorate.

 

 

To our heartfelt gratitude, when people finished their tree, they just kept decorating, moving from tree to tree. They hadn’t signed up for this, they simply saw the need and did it. And that was the spirit during the whole event. What can I do to help? Two teenage girls restored my faith in their generation. I had asked them to set out luminaries but due to the wind, they kept falling over. They solved the problem by taping them to poles. After the event, I was stressing over the need to collect the bags and lights but the girls had picked them up, disposed of the bags and collected the L.E.D lights and packaged them. As clean up continued, people saw what needed to be done and did it.

I’m having a hard time putting into words, what I want to express. I think I will go with the title, Don’t Undervalue Your Value whether you are creating a beautiful tree, doing the heavy lifting or packing up boxes, you are making someone’s job a lot easier and definitely more enjoyable. You are giving of yourself. You are appreciated. You are infinitely valuable.

 

 

 

I'm a winnerAfter my retirement, I decided to re-learn the canning and preserving skills I learned from my mother but hadn’t practiced for twenty years. I titled the blog Old Things R New to chronicle my experience.  Since then I have been blessed to have six other bloggers join me, DiVoran Lites, Bill Lites,  Judy Wills, Louise Gibson, Janet Perez Eckles and Melody Hendrix

In addition to blogging, I work as the publicist/marketer/ amateur editor and general  “mom Friday” for my author daughter, Rebekah Lyn. I also manage her website, Rebekah Lyn Books  where we frequently host the best in up and coming authors.

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