When It Happened:

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

I suppose this section would be more accurately titled, “So How Did I Do It??” since I’m the one writing my perspective here. But no matter.

When it came to engagement rings, Alyssa had told me awhile ago that she wanted to be involved in the process of picking out her ring. I understood. I mean, if she’s going to wear it for the rest of her life, it would be good for the ring to be something she loves. I was totally cool with it and thought the idea of ring shopping together would be rather fun. The one problem I quickly realized would come once we had picked something out: it wouldn’t be a surprise. I knew that the moment we decided on and bought a ring, Alyssa would know that any day after would be a viable day for me to propose. I needed to figure out a way to surprise her, but still have her involved. It may seem impossible, but this little predicament posed little challenge for my scheming mind.

In September of this year, we started ring shopping, first online and then a few local stores. We found a store that we really liked in downtown Wheaton and the two of us began working with this guy named Steve who was very helpful and educational in our search for the perfect engagement ring. This process was indeed fun and I liked being able to see her reactions to trying on different styles of diamonds and settings.

Eventually we found the ring that we wanted. It was a Thursday afternoon and Alyssa tried it on and told me, “I think this is it. I really, really like this one.” I agreed that it seemed like the right ring for her and Steve then asked us, “Well you can go ahead and put down a deposit and we can start putting it together.” But the Oscar-winning actor in me put on my best nervous, apprehensive face as I said, ” Whoa, this is kind of a big deal. Maybe we should just wait a few days and talk this weekend. Make ABSOLUTELY sure this is the ring we want.” Alyssa thought that sounded reasonable. So we walked back to campus and she went to class.

And I immediately returned to the store and bought the ring.

While there, I made sure I asked Steve all of the questions I needed to know about the ring. I got a slightly nicer diamond that Alyssa didn’t know about and I talked to Steve and told him that next week, when we returned “for the last time,” to pretend that he hadn’t seen me and just play along. Steve was super excited to be in on this plan to make Alyssa think we were just about to buy a ring when, in reality, I already had it.

That weekend we talked about the ring and after some thinking, I “felt much more comfortable about it” and said we could go back on Tuesday to buy it. That Monday, I secretly went and picked up the completed ring.

On Tuesday, I told Alyssa that we had dinner plans for that night and that we would go immediately after classes to the jewelry store to buy the ring. Once there, Alyssa and I asked lots of questions about the diamond (not the one I actually bought) and about certifications and cleaning (all questions that I already knew the answers to) and Steve played along brilliantly, doing what he does best and just talking about diamonds. Finally, at the end, Alyssa asked, “Okay, well can we see the ring?”

Steve reached into the envelope that was supposed to contain the setting but he looked confused.

“Oh no,” he said, “I think we sent the wrong ring back to the manufacturers. I’m so sorry, we are going to have to reorder it.” An incredible performance. Alyssa bought it with complete trust. She was bummed but understood. It would only take a few extra days until Forrest would actually have the ring. The one thing for sure was that I couldn’t possibly have one now.

Once out, I told Alyssa that we had about an hour to kill until our dinner reservations and suggested we go walk around the Morton Arboretum. Alyssa shrugged and said, “Nah it’s kind of cold and gross out.” I insisted, “Let’s go the Morton Arboretum.” “Okay!” she happily agreed.

We walked around the children’s garden and some of the trails for awhile, finally sitting down by these four big stone columns in a grassy meadow. When it came time for us to leave for dinner, we started walking back to the car. As we passed the columns, I started getting extremely nervous, knowing the moment was imminent. Alyssa could tell something was up. “What’s wrong, Forrest?” she kept asking. “Nothing, I’m just–thirsty. Seriously, nothing is wrong, keep walking.” The truth was that I had a stone in my pocket that I had pulled out of Lake Superior on which I had written “A New Milestone: Alyssa and Forrest, October 9th, 2012.” I needed her to look away for a moment so I could discreetly drop it in the grass. Finally, after several seconds of awkwardness, I dropped the stone and clumsily got Alyssa to walk past it. She saw it in the grass and when comprehension dawned on her, I got down on one knee and pulled out the ring, saying “Alyssa Nicole Berding, my best friend, will you marry me?”

From the moment Alyssa saw the ring until we embraced afterwards, she has no memory. She was freaking out so much that she forgot about me getting down on one knee. I had to confirm afterwards that yes, I did get down on one knee. “But, we were just at the ring store! I saw the diamond! How do you have the ring?” She was so surprised.

We sat on the steps and I read her Psalm 86 while she cried sweet tears of joy. Then we walked back hand in hand as a newly engaged couple, ready to take that next step.