Multigenerational Friendships

My Take

DiVoran Lites

How do you put a bit of spice in an otherwise humdrum life? For me, nothing works like making a new friend. Oh, I don’t go around indiscriminately claiming to be friends with everyone, but if I give it a bit of thought, the friends are there. Perhaps I haven’t taken the time to develop them.

Starting close to home geographically, I have a dear friend among the neighbors. I’ve known her forty-four years. Our kids grew up together running free in the woods, building forts, riding bikes. They got through high school and went their separate ways, but still on holidays if any of them happen to end up in the area at the same time, they congregate in the driveway for a confab. The youngest of them will soon be fifty. Two of them call us from far away to chat and that’s gratifying and enjoyable.

Bill and I still have friends our own age, who went to elementary school with us. Since we never lost touch over all these years we have a lot of continuity and understanding, and due to the wonder of mail (e and snail) we know what’s going on in each other’s lives. A couple of winters ago I came across a photo of my eighth grade principal, and wrote Patricia to ask what she recalled about him. She still lives in Colorado, and she sent back a story not only reminiscing about the principal, but with the addition of other memories. That winter was extremely cold in Colorado and even in Florida we struggled to stay warm. Patricia and I holed up with space heaters and our computers in our respective homes, and ended up writing a whole book back and forth about the late forties and early fifties of our childhood. I still have a good friend from beauty school too. She lives in California and we email each other frequently. But those aren’t exactly multigenerational, except that they do stretch across the generations.

When I was young, the small town sheriff would come into our restaurant and I’d be allowed to sit with him and hear his stories as my parents bustled back and forth serving food and drink. Other merchants in our two blocks of Main Street befriended my brother and me, too: Miss Lily at the post office, Mr. Cope at the drugstore, and Mrs. Canda at Canda’s grocery. Mrs. Canda taught my second grade class and after she retired from teaching I’d stop at her store on my way home from the restaurant to visit.

Now I’ve made friends with the brother and sister who moved in, with their parents, across the street. They come for short visits and talk about what’s going on in their lives. This is an especially interesting time of year because one of them has a birthday and of course there’s always school and holidays to look forward to. They home school and are a fountain of information about the highly approved way their mom does things.

We have a whole array of ages at church. I teach a small Sunday School class which is a joy and a goldmine of young friends. The youngest is five years old and the eldest soon to be eleven. I believe they consider me their friend, and may continue to do so into adulthood. That’s a wonderful feeling!

A new friend is a vet from one of the Middle Eastern wars we’ve had in the past decade. I haven’t asked which one, but he has not been reluctant to tell Bill and me about some of his adventures when, after church, we drop him off at work. He has been shot four times, been injured jumping from airplanes, been knifed, and has had multiple operations. The great thing about this gentleman is that he is rebuilding his life inch by inch and one of his greatest healers is his fabulous gift of music. For praise team, he plays whichever instrument needs playing while the rest of us sing.

I have a friend who is finishing high school and getting ready to go to college or join the military. She and I, her guardian, and her cousins go to the library together sometimes. We have a lot in common because we all enjoy reading.

Of course we like keeping our relatives as friends, and that can include a multitude of ages. To rely solely on our children and grandchildren for company, however, would surely be a mistake. They have their lives, and we have ours. Many people of all ages look for friendship, as we do, so there’s no reason to sit around and pine.

Here’s a link to some things I’ve learned about friendship over the years. One thing I know: it is the greatest tool God ever gave us to keep from becoming unnaturally lonely.

Here’s an excellent blog about a multi-generational friendship that began on Face Book.

Do you have a  favorite place to meet new friends?

Tags: Christian bloggers, Family Life, Friendship