On the Porch
Onisha Ellis
Originally I planned to write about the good aspects of aging. I was inspired after a relaxing visit with my friend DiVoran. Then as often happens to me, my mind turned in a new direction. I want to tell you about someone named Kathy.
In the early eighties I was working as a unit secretary at our local hospital. One of my duties was to answer the intercom system when a patient would press the call button. Kathy was frequently in and out of the hospital for tests and pain management. If I remember correctly she was in her late thirties. She was a very humble person and instead of demanding medication she would say, “I hurt real bad”. Kathy had been subjected to a myriad of diagnostic tests but no actual diagnosis was made. Often the staff, myself included, would shake their heads never sure if she had a very low pain tolerance or just liked pain meds.
One of the diseases for which Kathy was tested was Lupus. She had many symptoms and especially the pain but all the tests were negative. I suspect what Kathy suffered from was Fibromyalgia. At the time Kathy was ill I am not even sure Fibro had been recognized as a legitimate medical condition much less any treatment plans or support groups.
Years have passed since that time and on the days I am dealing with my own health issues, I sometimes hear Kathy’s voice in my mind, “I hurt real bad” and my heart says forgive me, Kathy I just didn’t understand and I whisper to myself, “I hurt real bad too.”
Old Things R New 
I think your ‘guilt’ is shared by a lot of people, Onisha. What I’m learning over and over again is that I’m very quick to judge others, and that many times I regret my too-quick judgment. Sometimes it amazes me how MUCH others do while hurting physically or emotionally. We CAN’T know what others are enduring, though, Onisha. Remember that you were being KIND to her even though you doubted.
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Thank you, DiVoran.
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Lovely story about two lovely people, you and Kathy.
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